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Rebecca Minkoff shares the parenting advice she had to learn the hard way

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Work-life balance is a myth that working parents should stop chasing, Rebecca Minkoff told Business Insider.

“I don’t believe in balance,” the fashion designer and cofounder of the Female Founder Collective, 45, said, adding: “It does not exist. It’s never existed for men who want to be parents, or women. Period.”

Minkoff, who has four children between the ages of four and 14, said she struggled with trying to do it all while raising her first three kids.

“You’re giving a bath to your baby, and I just remember thinking for the first three kids, ‘Hurry up, go to bed, I need to get back to work, oh my god.’ Just having that feeling in me,” she said.

It was especially hard when she was in “build mode” earlier in her career, trying to scale the fashion brand she owned until 2022. “When I scroll through the photos on my phone, I’m like, ‘Wow, I only see smiles.’ But that felt miserable a lot of the time,” she said.

After the birth of her fourth child in February 2022, Minkoff said her mindset shifted.

“I was like, ‘Guess what happened when I didn’t reply to that email?’ Nothing,” she said. “Guess what happened on the weekend when I didn’t check it? Nothing.”

She wishes she realized sooner that ‘only your babies matter’

After returning from maternity leave, she began restructuring her work and delegating more, which Minkoff said involved reducing her direct reports from 18 to one. “We took a lot of the detail work out of my job and relied on a creative director to do that, which freed me up a lot,” she said.


Rebecca Minkoff, husband, and four kids

Rebecca Minkoff tries to finish work at 5 p.m. to spend time with her family. 

Courtesy of Rebecca Minkoff



Now, Minkoff said she aims to finish work at 5 p.m. to spend time with her family and tries to minimize the amount she travels for work.

Looking back, she said she wishes she’d been given one piece of advice: “I wish someone had sat me down and shaken me and been like, ‘Only your babies matter, focus on them.'”

Minkoff said her advice won’t apply to everyone.

“I don’t do this alone,” she said. “I have an amazing team, an amazing husband, an amazing babysitter, and amazing parents. There’s a machine, and I greatly rely on my team, my cofounder, Ali, for this all to happen.”

But, she said, it’s important for all working parents to set their own boundaries.

“I think you have to put the guardrails up for yourself and not what some other mom is doing,” she said. “Try your best to hold true.”




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Elon Musk’s hiring advice: ‘Don’t look at the resume — just believe your interaction’

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Even Elon Musk sometimes hires the wrong people.

“I’ve fallen prey to the pixie dust thing as well, where it’s like, ‘Oh, we’ll hire someone from Google or Apple, and they’ll be immediately successful,'” Musk told Stripe cofounder John Collison and tech Dwarkesh Patel during a 3-hour-long appearance on a special joint episode of their podcasts.

It’s why Tesla’s CEO doesn’t put his full faith in a candidate’s résumé.

“Generally, what I tell people—I tell myself, I guess, aspirationally—is, don’t look at the résumé. Just believe your interaction. The résumé may seem very impressive, and it’s like, ‘Wow, the résumé looks good.’ But if the conversation after 20 minutes is not “Wow,” you should believe the conversation, not the paper,” he said.

He said he’s made other mistakes, too. “My batting average is still not perfect, but it’s very high,” he said. That includes the times he’s discounted certain personality traits.

“I think it’s a good idea to hire for talent and drive and trustworthiness,” he said. “And I think goodness of heart is important. I underweighted that at one point. So, are they a good person? Trustworthy? Smart and talented and hard working? If so, you can add domain knowledge.”

Musk said that it takes a lot to truly impress him.

“The things I ask for are bullet points for evidence of exceptional ability.”

The examples “can be pretty off the wall,” but he’s looking for evidence of something truly great.

“If somebody can cite even one thing, but let’s say three things, where you go, ‘Wow, wow, wow,’ then that’s a good sign,” he said.

Hiring is just part of the battle.

When companies like Tesla are successful, Musk said, their competitors take notice and do everything they can to poach top talent.

“Tesla had a further challenge where when Tesla had very successful periods, we would be relentlessly recruited from,” he said. “Like, relentlessly.”

Musk said when Apple had its own electric car program, recruiters for the tech giant were “carpet bombing” Tesla employees to the point that some engineers just unplugged their phones. (In 2024, Apple reportedly abandoned its secretive car program.)

“Their opening offer without any interview would be like double the compensation at Tesla. So we had a bit of the ‘Tesla pixie dust’ thing where it’s like, ‘Oh, if you hire a Tesla executive, suddenly everything’s going to be successful,'” he said.

Some former employees have complained about Musk’s management style. During the interview, the Tesla CEO joked about his reputation as a micro manager, insisting that it be called “Nano management, please.” Musk said that, in reality, he now doesn’t have enough time to oversee every aspect of his sprawling empire.

Ultimately, though, Musk said he just wants one thing.

“If somebody gets things done, I love them, and if they don’t, I hate them,” he said. “So it’s pretty straightforward. It’s not like some idiosyncratic thing.”




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My grandmother wrote me a letter before my wedding. Her marriage advice insulted me at first, but now I get it.

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I married my husband, Scott, in April 2025 after four years of dating.

Nobody was more excited for the wedding than our families. They rallied around us, sharing tips and calming me down when the planning became stressful.

My sister made a scrapbook for me to open the night before the nuptials. Inside, there were handwritten letters from my bridesmaids, my mom, and my 79-year-old grandmother.


Wedding photo

The author on her wedding day.

Courtesy of the author



The letters were sweet, romantic, and optimistic — well, almost all of them were. My grandmother’s letter had an ominous tone.

“I wish you and Scott all the happiness in the world in your married life. I am sure you two are just right for each other. That’s not to say it will all be plain sailing,” she wrote.

“There may be bumps along the road,” she added, “but love has a way of forgiving a multitude of sins.”

I was alarmed by my grandmother’s note

It was a huge contrast to the other letters in the scrapbook. While my bridesmaids reminisced about the past and shared excitement for my future, my grandma’s words stopped me in my tracks.

I remember laughing and shaking my head in disbelief. I then handed the letter to my mom, who was equally unimpressed.

It’s not that I didn’t appreciate the advice. But really, who wants to hear the words “love” and “sins” mentioned in the same sentence? Especially when it’s in relation to your own husband.


Couple selfie wedding day

The author was taken aback by her grandmother’s letter at first.

Courtesy of the author



For a brief moment, I contemplated what she meant by the word “sins.” Cheating? Lying? Or something else?

My gran has a fantastic relationship with my husband, so I couldn’t imagine what sparked her cautionary words. Similarly, I had never spoken a bad word about Scott to my grandmother.

Of course, like any couple, we’d had fights, but it was never anything relationship-threatening. And I had never spoken about it with my her.

Ultimately, I disregarded the note, just as you would ignore a speck of dirt on a white wedding dress. Even if nobody else notices it, you know it’s there.

Five months later, I learned a major lesson

The wedding day was picture-perfect.

I felt so fortunate that we got to celebrate with our loved ones, especially our grandmothers. Both Scott and I were the first grandchildren in our families to get married, so it felt extra special.

Five months later, I found my grandma’s letter while looking through the scrapbook. It looked different to me with fresh eyes. Now that some time had passed, I could look at it from a new perspective. I could read without taking it personally.

I thought about my grandmother’s life, and I realized that her words were never about my husband and me.

My gran married my late grandfather when they were just teenagers, and it’s fair to say they had many bumps in their own love story. Let’s just say, their relationship wasn’t like the kind I grew up watching in romantic comedies and Disney films.

However, they loved each other deeply. They were loyal, forgiving, and supported each other throughout their more than 50-year marriage.

Staying in love is a choice

Thinking about their relationship reminded me that falling in love is a feeling, but staying in love is a choice. It’s an action. It’s not something that just happens to a person.

The wedding is the beautiful part, but the marriage? That’s where things have the potential to get messy.


Granddaughter posing for photo with grandma

The author now understands where her grandmother was coming from.

Courtesy of the author



I’ve been married for less than a year, so I’m not pretending to know all the answers. But if I’m honest with myself, I can admit that my grandma’s letter shook me because it didn’t fit the aesthetic Instagram version of what I thought marriage was supposed to be.

I know that my husband and I have a great deal of joy ahead of us. But we’re also going to witness one another’s pain, grief, disappointment, and growth. That’s just a part of sharing your life with someone.

If I ever catch myself feeling unprepared, I know I can revisit my grandma’s letter.




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