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We bought a family business for $40,000 and moved to Boise. We are raising our daughter to know it’s OK to take risks.

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This as-told-to essay is based on a conversation with Heather Schoonover, owner of Painting With a Twist in Boise. It has been edited for length and clarity.

Three years ago, my husband Levi got a call from family. His uncle had died, and the family was preparing to sell his business, which produced trophies and medals. They just wanted to be rid of it and were going to sell it for about $40,000.

That was less than the truck we were considering purchasing. And unlike a truck, the business was something we hoped would appreciate in value. So, Levi and I loaded into a half-finished 1957 Airstream trailer and moved seven hours from our home in northern Idaho to Boise, where the business was located.


Trophy business

Heather Schoonover and her husband parked their Airstream inside the trophy business they bought. 

Courtesy of Heather Schoonover



We parked the Airstream inside the warehouse for the trophy business and lived there for a year. Sometimes we wondered what we had done, especially since the first year, the trophy business only netted about $35,000. But the year after that, we doubled our profits, then doubled again. That’s when we started to think we had made the right decision.

We decided to open a paint and sip studio since there wasn’t one

When we moved to Boise, we were eager to make new friends. I have a background working at paint-and-sip art studios, and we thought that would be a great place to meet people. We were surprised to learn that there wasn’t a paint-and-sip in Boise.

Gradually, we met others, and I started hosting paint-and-sip events right in the warehouse, next to our airstream. I was only charging for materials, not making any money, but people loved it. We could immediately see another business opportunity.

Having a franchise was helpful when I had a baby

We were still in the trenches of resuscitating the trophy business, so we decided to look into franchises. Ultimately, we thought that would help us have more flexibility. We wanted to own the paint-and-sip business without being tied to working there every day. Having a proven model seemed to be the option that would get us to that goal the fastest.

It was definitely the right choice. Finding a location in Boise took longer than we wanted, but our franchise company, Painting With A Twist, helped us stay focused on finding the right space and then negotiating a lease once we found it.

I found out I was pregnant the day before the grand opening. Because we had the franchise’s resources, we were able to stay open and even continue making money during my maternity leave. Having a baby and a new business in the same year would have been a million times more stressful if we were on our own.

Owning businesses gives us more control over our time

For Levi and me, success means owning our own time. Running two businesses — plus rental properties — demands a lot of time, but also gives us freedom. We can get lunch together. Before our daughter was born, Levi would bartend at paint-and-sip nights just so we could spend time together.

Having freedom in how we spend time has become even more important now that we have a baby. Our businesses have complementary schedules, so I often watch the baby while Levi works at the trophy business during the day, then I head to Painting With A Twist at night while he’s home with her.


Dog living in Airstream

Courtesy of Heather Schoonover



We want our daughter to know it’s OK to take risks. We went from working stable jobs and living in a nice house to running our own businesses while living in a half-finished trailer with two big dogs. Although it wasn’t glamorous, it led to opportunities and a community we love here in Boise.

We never want to look back and think “we wish we tried that.” We’d rather take the leap and try to figure it out together.




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I wasn’t sure if my daughter was ready to sleep over at a friend’s on her own. I decided to join her.

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I was excited when my daughter Aria was invited to spend the night at a friend’s house. While I realize not everyone experiences this rite of passage or even needs to, I view it as a nice milestone.

Cozy sleeping bags, tasty snacks, movie marathons, and laughing with friends way past bedtime can make for fun, fond memories. I was not allowed to sleep over anywhere until middle school, and even then, it was a tough sell to my mom.

Despite my enthusiasm, I still had some trepidation about letting Aria sleep over. I had known her friend’s parents for a while, and I trusted them fully, so that part wasn’t an issue. Rather, I was unsure how Aria would do on her own: would she get scared in the dark, as she sometimes does at home? Would the sleeping arrangements be comfortable? Would she be warm enough? Too warm, perhaps?

These and other concerns swirled around in my head.

I want to foster her independence

Fostering independence is important to me as a parent, but it is also important that Aria feels OK. The other mom and I talked; she understood and had even more concerns for her child sleeping at someone else’s house than I did. So, we decided that I would come too. I knew I risked being called a “helicopter parent,” but my goal was to help, not hover.


Girl with rollie suitcase

The author’s daughter packed her bag for her sleepover with her friend and both moms.

Courtesy of the author



I talked to my daughter and asked if she felt OK about me tagging along. To my relief, Aria was happy about this joint opportunity for mommy to come and put a new spin on the term “girls’ night”. She packed her fox-covered suitcase with clothes, her toothbrush, jammies, and way more toys than needed; I packed mine (minus the toys). When Aria and I arrived, she and her friend were thrilled to see each other and set off toward the bedroom to play.

The mom and I enjoyed chatting while the girls stretched slime, built bendable cities, and played pretend. We let them stay up a little later than usual, but nothing extreme. They brushed their teeth side by side in the mirror and got ready to lie down.

Once the girls were asleep, the mom and I each enjoyed a glass of wine and more adult conversation before she retired to her room, and I slept on the couch. All in all, the night went off without a hitch.

Then we switched houses

Months later, we did the same thing at my house. I hosted a sleepover in honor of the “Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring” anniversary (the girls know nothing of Frodo or Mordor, but the mom and I are big fans).

I welcomed them in my Arwen costume, and the girls went off to play. This time, we had a third adult present, who doesn’t have children but loves our girls (and LOTR). The three adults watched some of the trilogy, had some wine, dinner, and conversation.

That night, Aria’s friend tried to sleep in Aria’s trundle bed but soon grew scared, so she went to sleep with her mom instead, who was right there and ready to ease those nighttime fears. The following morning, I made waffles for everyone before we said goodbye and reflected on how much fun the night had been.

Tagging along for sleepovers can be fun for everyone

I think these parent-child sleepovers could be a fresh idea for caregivers and a nice middle ground between spending the night and just having a playdate. I view what we did as a compromise where the child still gets to have an overnight experience, but someone is there in case anything arises.

Admittedly, this might not work for everyone. The mother and I know each other well enough to do this. I also had the good fortune of my daughter being OK with my attendance, so there was no sour mood to spoil the evening. And I have a kid of elementary age — I’m not sure if this would work with a kid in high school.

Some people might think what I did is crazy, but I liked being around if my daughter needed me and being there when she woke up.




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When my daughter was diagnosed with autism at age 2, I never imagined she’d own a business and be a reality TV star

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This as-told-to essay is based on a conversation with Christine Romeo, mother of “Love on the Spectrum” star Abbey Romeo. It has been edited for length and clarity.

Sometimes I look at pictures of my daughter Abbey when she was 3 or 4. She was just so, so cute. But I think — was I present for that? Did I enjoy that time, or was I too obsessed with therapies and my worries about her future?

It’s normal for anyone, especially parents, to fret about the future, but for parents of kids with disabilities, those worries can be overwhelming.

Abbey is now 27. When she was diagnosed with autism 25 years ago, I couldn’t have imagined that Abbey would be running two small businesses or appearing on reality TV. But along the way, we both learned to think outside the box, and that’s helped Abbey grow so much.

I put Abbey in a vocational program in 8th grade

Abbey went to one of the best schools for autism. She had moderate setbacks, but her curriculum was still focused on academics. She was learning what typical kids were, like tectonic plates and world history, just at a slower pace.


Abbey Romeo

Christine Romeo moved her daughter, Abbey, to a program that would teach her life skills.

Courtesy of Christine Romeo



I could see that wasn’t what she needed. It’s not helpful to learn Western Civilization if you can’t remember what you did yesterday. I would rather Abbey focus on life skills that could help her cope with her autism, like visual clues to help her access her short-term memory.

When Abbey was in eighth grade, I switched her to a vocational program that focused on job and life skills. I had to set my ego aside and do what was right for Abbey. She didn’t need a high school diploma — she needed skills to help her live her life.

I realized as a parent you don’t get to order who your child is

There were moments throughout Abbey’s schooling when I knew I had made the right decision. One time, the teacher sent me a picture of Abbey rewiring a light. I was blown away.

Another was when I came in to see Abbey weaving in the textile program. She was operating this big machine with foot pedals and a large swatch of fabric, and it was regulating her. I had to leave the room, because I was crying.

With Abbey and her brother, who’s a year younger, I realized that as a parent, you don’t always get what you order. I’m determined to help both of them be who they are and be as successful as they’re meant to be.

Entrepreneurs inspired me to not take no for an answer

Abbey excelled at weaving, and I realized selling her creations could be a job. I believe it’s important for everyone to have a sense of purpose, and Abbey had expressed that she wanted a “real job.”

I spoke with her school about creating a program to allow kids to sell their art and crafts. The teacher loved the idea, but the principal didn’t. When he said no, I thought about one of my favorite shows, Shark Tank, and how entrepreneurs don’t take no for an answer. I was determined to find a solution for Abbey, even when the system said there wasn’t one.


Abbey Romeo making a hat

Abbey Romeo runs her own hat-making business.

Courtesy of Christine Romeo



The teacher ended up coming to our home on Saturdays to teach Abbey advanced weaving. Soon, her business, Hats by Abbey, was born. She also has another business shredding people’s paperwork, which they pay for by the bag.

Using cash helped Abbey learn about money

Today, Abbey has control over her days. She often makes hats from 9 to 12, then walks the dog before her voice lesson. She has the sense of purpose that we all need.

For a while, it was difficult for Abbey to connect with the idea of money. I found it helped when she could see cash. I started putting cash in her money box, and if she wanted to order something online, she had to give me the bills.


Abbey Romeo

Charley Gallay/Getty Images for Netflix



The first thing Abbey ordered with her profits was a $160 stuffed lion. It challenged every fiber of my being to let her order that, but she had earned the money, and she got to decide how to spend it. Seeing the glee on her face when she opened the box was worth every obstacle we’ve had to jump over.

Abbey continues to grow so much. I’ve created opportunities, and she’s taken them. It’s been the most beautiful, amazing experience.




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Sarah McLachlan, 58, says she had to ‘eat a lot of humble pie’ to repair her relationship with her older daughter

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Sarah McLachlan, 58, says she had to rethink how she was parenting her daughter to rebuild their bond.

“I would have been softer on her in a different way. I was a hard ass,” McLachlan told Amy Poehler on Tuesday’s episode of “Good Hang with Amy Poehler.”

McLachlan shares two daughters with ex-husband Ashwin Sood: India Ann, born in 2002, and Taja Summer, born in 2007.

“It’s funny because I thought so clearly in my own mind that I was being the antithesis of my mother. And I looked at the way she parented, and I thought, ‘I’m going to do everything completely different,'” McLachlan said. “Then her words come spewing out of your mouth in a moment of anger and frustration, and you’re like, ‘Oh my God, I can’t believe I did that.'”

She said her older daughter would sometimes shut down or lash out when things got hard, and at the time, McLachlan didn’t fully understand what was behind it.

“I looked at that and went, ‘How do I help you with this? How do we move past this, because the world out there is scary and big, and you have to have some grit, and you have to do hard things so that you know you can,'” McLachlan said, describing the tough approach she took with her daughter.

It was only after they went to family counseling that she realized her daughter was experiencing a lot of anxiety.

“The way I was communicating to her was just making her feel shitty about herself instead of building her up, which was completely the opposite of what I thought I was doing,” McLachlan said.

“I had to eat a lot of humble pie and take stock and go, ‘OK, look, I want a relationship with my kid. So, I need to learn how to communicate differently with her,'” she said.

Through the process, she said her daughter also learned how to take responsibility for her own reactions.

“It was a long process, but it was beautiful and powerful. And we have such an open, loving relationship now because of that,” McLachlan said.

This isn’t the first time McLachlan has spoken about her relationship with her firstborn. In August, she told Variety that the chapter of their relationship inspired the second single, “Gravity,” on her latest album, released last year.

“It feels really sweet to be able to sing this song and know that we’re in such a better place, having come through this really challenging time together,” she said.

In September, McLachlan told People that therapy gave her a “safe environment” to connect with her daughter.

“What I realized is the way I was communicating my love to her, she was not hearing it, not feeling it,” McLachlan said. “I was not reaching her. And for me as a parent, that’s devastating because you just want to take your kid in your arms and hold them and keep them in.”

India Sood did not respond to a request for comment from Business Insider.




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What we know about secretive North Korean leader Kim Jong Un’s daughter, Kim Ju Ae, a potential heir

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Updated

  • Kim Jong Un is believed to have 3 children, including one confirmed daughter, Kim Ju Ae.
  • Kim Ju Ae has recently made several appearances in North Korean media since November.
  • Her seat in the global spotlight has stirred speculation about North Korea’s next successor.

The daughter of North Korean leader Kim Jong Un has been showing up in headlines and rare public appearances in recent weeks — once again fueling speculation that the child is being groomed to be Kim’s heir apparent.

In a February 12 closed-door briefing with the National Intelligence Service, South Korea’s spy agency, lawmakers were told the daughter has been described to be in the “successor-designate stage,” Lee Seong Kweun, a South Korean lawmaker, said, according to a report from The Associated Press.

“In the past, (NIS) described Kim Ju Ae as being in the midst of ‘successor training.’ What was notable today is that they used the term ‘successor-designate stage,’ a shift that’s quite significant,” Lee said, according to the report.

Kim’s daughter, who is believed to be around 13 years old, has made several high-profile appearances in recent years, which is a rare move for the secretive family. The daughter was first seen in images shared by state media in November 2022.

That unexpected public display has raised questions around whether the North Korean leader is signaling the next heir to the Kim dynasty, though experts have previously said that it’s too early to speculate — especially as the seat is typically reserved for a male heir.

Still, little is known or has been confirmed about the daughter herself. Kim’s private life, including the names of his children, are generally regarded state secrets.

Here’s what we know so far about Kim Jong Un’s daughter.

What is Kim Jong Un’s daughter’s name?

This undated photo provided on Nov. 27, 2022, by the North Korean government shows North Korean leader Kim Jong Un, left, and his daughter, right.

Korean Central News Agency/Korea News Service via Associated Press

Her real name was never revealed by state officials or outlets.

The first person to acknowledge the existence of Kim Jong Un’s daughter was NBA player Dennis Rodman, who developed a relationship with the North Korean leader during his 2013 visit to Pyongyang.

In an interview with The Guardian, he revealed that Kim Jong Un and his wife Ri Sol Ju had a baby.

“I held their baby, Ju-ae, and spoke with Ms. Ri as well. He’s a good dad and has a beautiful family. Kim told me, ‘I’ll see you in December,'” Rodman told the outlet.

According to a recent report from Radio Free Asia, local governments in the cities of Jeongju and Yongsong have ordered women named Ju Ae to change the names on their birth certificates — another indication that may confirm the daughter’s identity.

How old is she?


Kim Ju Ae and Kim Jong Un

Kim Jong Un and his daughter Ju Ae inspect the Milyong Hotel in the Samjiyon tourist district of Ryanggang Province.

KCNA VIA KNS/AFP via Getty Images

The South Korean National Intelligence Service believes Ju Ae was born around January 2013, according to The Chosunilbo, aging her at around 13 years old.

Ju Ae is believed to be the second child, according to the National Intelligence Service.

Kim Jong Un and Ri Sol Ju may have had their first child in the summer of 2010 and a third child around the beginning of 2017. Both of their sexes remain unconfirmed.

South Korean lawmakers have said they’ve received tips that the first child may be a boy, CNN reported.

What have North Korean officials and state media said about the daughter?


Kim Jong Un's daughter Kim Ju Ae

Kim Jong Un, center, and his daughter, center left, at a sports game.

Korean Central News Agency/Korea News Service via AP

When the North Korean state media outlet KCNA released pictures of Ju Ae at the missile testing site, the agency reported that Kim Jong Un was there “with his beloved daughter and wife.”

During a banquet celebrating the 75th anniversary of the founding of the Korean People’s Army in February, Rodong Sinmun reported that Kim Jong Un arrived at the lodging quarters with his “respected daughter” — a title also conferred on the North Korean leader in the report.

According to former CIA officer Andrew Kim, who was involved in diplomatic efforts between the US and North Korea, Kim Jong Un may have made a rare comment about his personal life to the then-Secretary of State Mike Pompeo back in April 2018.

“‘I’m a father and a husband. And I have children,” the former CIA officer recalled Kim Jong Un telling Pompeo. “‘And I don’t want my children to carry the nuclear weapon on their back their whole life.’ That was his answer.”

When did the public first see Kim’s daughter?


Kim Jong Un and his second born Kim Ju Ae stands next to uniformed North Koreans.

Kim Jong Un and his second-born, Kim Ju Ae, stands in front of a intercontinental ballistic missile.

KCNA/Pool/Latin America News Agency via Reuters Connect

Kim Ju Ae was first unveiled to the public in images released by the state media in November 2022.

The images showed the father-daughter pair touring an intercontinental ballistic missile testing site. A few months later, she was seen, front and center, at official gatherings, including an anniversary banquet for the North Korean army.

The public display of Kim’s daughter is a notable break from tradition as Kim’s private life is generally treated as state secrets.

A verified photo of Kim Jong Un wasn’t revealed until he was around 26 years old in 2010, a year before the death of his father, Kim Jong Il.

Could Kim Ju Ae succeed her father?


Kim Ju Ae

North Korean leader Kim Jong Un and daughter Kim Ju Ae attend a military parade to mark the 75th founding anniversary of North Korea’s army, at Kim Il Sung Square in Pyongyang, North Korea, February 8, 2023

North Korea’s Korean Central News Agency

Experts have speculated whether Kim Jong Un was signaling his next successor with the repeated public showings of Ju Ae. 

Cheong Seong Chang, a senior analyst at the Sejong Institute in South Korea, previously told CNN that the daughter’s appearance at the testing site and the state outlet’s description of the “beloved” daughter could be the latest sign that Kim Jong Un has chosen his next heir.

“Considering these, there is no longer any doubt that Kim Ju Ae has been appointed as the successor to Kim Jong Un, and it is necessary to pay attention to how this will affect North Korea’s domestic and foreign policies in the mid- to long-term, and how North Koreans will accept the succession of the fourth generation,” Cheong said.

But Duyon Kim, a senior analyst at the Center for a New American Security in Washington, DC, warned that it’s too early to draw conclusions.

“We can only speculate at this point,” Kim told The Associated Press,”(Kim Jong Un is) obviously showing her off intentionally and, at a minimum, he seems to be trying to reiterate the importance, status, and legitimacy of a direct Kim bloodline offspring. It’s too soon to assume that she will be his heir because the son has always succeeded the throne in North Korea.”

Who else could succeed Kim Jong Un?


Kim Yo Jong

Kim Yo Jong, sister of North Korea’s leader Kim Jong Un, attends a wreath-laying ceremony at Ho Chi Minh Mausoleum in Hanoi, Vietnam, on March 2, 2019.

REUTERS/Jorge Silva/Pool

There has been speculation about Kim Jong Un’s younger sister, Kim Yo Jong, being a potential contender.

Currently, Kim Yo Jong serves as the only woman on the State Affairs Commission, North Korea’s policy-making body.

The South Korean National Intelligence Service previously said in 2020 that the sister could be the country’s “de facto second in command,” CNN reported, citing Kim Byung-kee, a South Korean parliament member who attended a briefing with the agency at the time.

David Straub, a former senior diplomat at the US embassy in Seoul, told The Daily Beast that Kim Jong Un’s recent flaunting of his daughter may be a troubling sign for the leader’s sister if he truly is considering putting Ju Ae at the top of the hierarchy.

“Kim had both his uncle and his half-brother murdered,” Straub told the outlet, referring to Kim Jong Nam, who was assassinated in Malaysia in 2017 with a chemical nerve agent. Kim Jong Nam was widely considered to be the next leader of North Korea after Kim Jong Il.

“I’ll bet everyone in the Kim clan remembered, perhaps especially Yo Jong,” Straub said.




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I moved back home after living abroad for 12 years. I worried it would be a step backward for my daughter and me.

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After 12 years living abroad in Berlin and then Madrid, I never imagined returning home to Ireland. However, a breakup, becoming a single parent to a young teen, and growing concerns about my father’s health made moving back home something I had to consider.

The decision wasn’t easy. I worried about uprooting my daughter from the life we’d built in Madrid and returning to a country I’d once been so desperate to leave. Growing up in Dublin in the 1980s, a time marked by unemployment, diminishing women’s rights, and a deeply conservative church and state, greatly prompted my desire to live elsewhere. The following decades of living on and off in London, France, Germany, and Spain only reinforced that there was a greater world outside my home country.

Sure, there was no denying that Ireland had changed a lot since the ’80s. But there were still elements of the small-town mindset I despised.

Would my daughter resent me later for taking her away from a life in a more progressive and larger European city?

Moving back home was a difficult decision to make

Like many Western countries, Ireland’s housing crisis was at its peak. Moving back would likely mean temporarily living in my childhood home with my older parents — and that certainly felt like a step backward.

Still, in other ways, it felt right. My daughter, an only child, saw her extended family only a few times a year, and I believed being closer to them would help her through her parents’ breakup and those often-difficult teenage years.


Siobhan Colgan drinking outside in madrid

The author loved living abroad.

Courtesy of Siobhan Colgan



Plus, my father, now in his late 80s, had spent much of the year in and out of the hospital. After months of flying back and forth from Madrid to support him and my mother, staying abroad no longer felt realistic.

So I made the decision I never thought I’d make, and we moved back.

The move home surprisingly benefited all of us

Within a month of our return, my father was discharged from the nursing home he had been sent to after a six-month hospital stay. Being there to deal with doctors and carers, support my mother, and share the load with nearby relatives made me feel really grateful. I had always been close to my dad, but now that I was physically around, our bond deepened even more.

My daughter, too, began to thrive. She began building real relationships with aunts, uncles, cousins, and her grandparents. After becoming withdrawn during our final year in Madrid, I now saw her going out shopping with my mom or sitting laughing with my dad; she was slowly opening up again.

Then, four months after coming back, my father died suddenly after a short infection. It was devastating for everyone. But among the grief and tough emotions, I couldn’t deny feeling so thankful that my daughter and I spent those last few months with him.

Additionally, for all my misgivings about “small-town Ireland,” I got to see another side of living in a small community: friends, neighbours, and even locals who just knew them in passing rallied round my mother.

It was the best decision I never wanted to make

It’s still hard to accept my dad is gone, but, of course, life has continued. We now have our own home, a short walk from my mom, and my daughter loves her local school and the friends she’s made.

I still miss parts of our life abroad — my friends, the relaxing outdoor café culture, and reliable public transport. However, I’m building a stable life for my daughter, with deeper ties to family and community.

I will say that when it comes to big life choices, such as moving abroad or moving home, you can only make the decision that feels right to you in the moment. It’s rarely easy, but I’m relieved and glad that I made the choice I did.




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My daughter told me I should start going to the gym. At 79, I’m in the best shape of my life.

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This story is based on a conversation with Joan MacDonald, 79, a former driving examiner of Collingwood, Ontario. It has been edited for length and clarity.

January 2017 was a New Year I’ll never forget. It was one of the few times that my daughter, Michelle MacDonald, lost her cool with me.

She’d moved to Mexico the previous month and was visiting. “I won’t get to see you as often as I like,” she said. “And, every time I leave, I won’t know whether it will be the last time I see you.”

Then she made another blunt comment that changed my life. “Mom, why don’t you go to the gym?” she said.

I needed to improve my health

I had high blood pressure, kidney problems, and was at least 70 pounds overweight. Approaching my 71st birthday that March, I felt scared and miserable.

My doctor had already warned me that, if I didn’t make an effort to improve my health, I would end up on dialysis before very long. I was effectively dying.


An older woman standing in a clothing store

MacDonald, before she discovered the gym and became healthier.

Courtesy of Michelle MacDonald.



Growing up in Canada, I’d been an active child. I played ball, skated in the winter, and went bowling. I enjoyed doing them because they were fun. But I was by no means an athlete.

I got married a month before my 21st birthday and settled into married life while working as a driving examiner. I juggled work with motherhood, raising Michelle and her older and younger brothers.

Going to the gym really wasn’t a thing back then. None of my married friends worked out, or even thought about doing so.

I took medication for high blood pressure

I believe that your body changes every seven years or so. I went through variations in terms of shape and size, and enjoyed certain foods, then went off them.

I didn’t have regular meals, often eating just two meals a day at irregular times. In between, I’d snack.

Throughout my 60s, I was in poor health. I’d get bronchitis in the fall and spring — I had weaker lungs after contracting rheumatic fever as a child — and the kidney issues began.

The weight had grown to 200 pounds, which was far too heavy for my height of 5 feet 3 inches. And my blood pressure was high; I was put on medication.


An older woman flexes her muscles on a beach.

MacDonald, after taking up exercise and eating five small meals a day.

Courtesy of Michelle MacDonald



I’m lucky because Michelle is a certified strength and conditioning specialist and sports nutrition coach. She saw how unhealthy I’d become and was worried, especially because she’d moved thousands of miles away and couldn’t keep an eye on me.

Her recommendation struck home. It was enough to jolt me into action. My doctor also encouraged me to lose weight and reduce my blood pressure.

I’d half-heartedly attended the gym before, but not consistently. This time, I went five times a week.

My body slimmed down

I sought advice from Michelle and studied YouTube videos to learn how to use the machines and do strength training with free weights. At first, I couldn’t believe how hard it was to pick up 20 pounds.

I began with small weights and increased them by increments. I’ve since done a deadlift of 170 pounds and a hip thrust of 230 pounds.

It was amazing to see my body slim down and fit into clothes, like jeans, that I hadn’t worn in a very long time.

I lost 45 pounds in six months and a further 25 pounds during the rest of my 70s. I’ve gone from a size XL to a medium. I was able to quit my medications.


An older woman doing the splits.

MacDonald has become stronger and more flexible.

Courtesy of Michelle MacDonald



My current regimen involves spending two hours at the gym, with around 15 minutes of cardio, followed by using weights. I often work out with Michelle, whom I joined in Mexico for around a year after my husband died.

As for my diet, I eat five small meals a day, including oatmeal with egg whites, protein powder, and 1% coconut milk for breakfast.

Then I’ll have yogurt, an egg white omelette with ground beef, chicken, turkey, and ham, a protein bar, and a final, plain meal without starches. If I start my day at 7 am, I’ll stop eating by 7 pm.

A shoulder injury hasn’t stopped me

Unfortunately, I suffered a shoulder injury while biking outside on a rough surface and needed surgery three months ago. I’ve had to take things a bit easier as I recover. However, I feel 100% happier and healthier than I did before going to the gym.

Michelle and I established “Train With Joan” to help inspire people to take up exercise, regardless of their age.

It may slow you down a bit, but I’ve seen many seniors, even older than me, accomplish great things. They have resolved to do it for themselves. Nobody else is living in your body but you.




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We gave our daughter $20,000 for a wedding, but she used it for a home down payment and paid for her own wedding. Everyone was happy.

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When Mike’s daughter got engaged, he and his wife wanted to help pay for it.

Mike, who asked Business Insider to only use his first name for privacy reasons, estimated that a wedding in the Kansas City area would cost between $15,000 and $25,000 at the time, which was around 2015.

Mike and his wife decided they could put $20,000 towards the wedding, but they knew wedding spending can get out of hand and that emotions tend to run high during the planning process.

So instead of working closely with their daughter on her wedding plans and talking through each potential cost, they came up with a straightforward solution: give her and her fiancé a lump sum of $20,000 and let them do all the planning.

“I didn’t want to be telling my daughter what she could and couldn’t do,” he said. “She was an adult.”

Mike said the strategy took the pressure off him and his wife and helped avoid any wrestling over who was buying what or what his daughter could and could not have at her own wedding. He also said it helped him and his wife contribute the amount they wanted without going over budget by adding on things here and there.

In 2023, the national average cost of a wedding was $35,000, according to The Knot, while the average cost in Kansas was $25,000. Still, most couples end up going over their budget. A Real Weddings Study by The Knot found 56% of couple spent an average of $7,600 more on their wedding than they planned. Others exceeded their budget by more than $10,000.

While tradition typically has the bride’s family primarily paying for a wedding, those customs are changing, especially as Americans get married later in life and are more able to take on their own wedding costs. A 2023 study from The Knot found it’s more common for couples and their families to split the costs equally.

Mike, his wife, their daughter, and her fiancé were all happy with the lump-sum agreement.

“Then they kind of tricked me,” he said, laughing. “One day, they came home and said, ‘Hey, we bought a house.'”

The couple took the $20,000 and used it to put a down payment on their home — before they actually had their wedding, which they then planned to pay for out of their own pocket.

Initially, Mike was surprised, but ultimately, he thought it was a good thing that his daughter and her fiancé paid for their own wedding.

“If kids are not given carte blanche on wedding plans, if they’re forced to budget from their own standpoint, the whole thing just doesn’t get out of hand,” he said.

The couple held the wedding at the rose garden in Loose Park, a large public park in Kansas City, and at a popular reception hall. Mike said everything about the wedding seemed reasonable but that he never learned what they ended up spending.

“I never asked,” he said.

If the couple had used the money for a down payment and then eloped, Mike said that may have bothered him. But as long as he and his wife were still able to attend their daughter’s wedding, they were happy.

“I figured I got off for a reasonable amount of money for the wedding, and they got a down payment on a house out of the deal and a wedding,” he said.

Mike said he thinks too many people get caught up on the lavish weddings they see on TikTok, but that it can take away from the “whole point of having a wedding, which is to have a marriage.”

He also said that he thinks by helping them learn how to budget their money for a wedding, it was also a good step towards learning how to budget in a marriage.

Mike’s wife did end up giving their daughter a bit more money in the end, which he thinks was for something having to do with her dress.

“She snuck it in,” he said, laughing. “She couldn’t resist.”

Have a news tip or a story to share about the costs of throwing a wedding or being in a bridal party? Contact this reporter at kvlamis@businessinsider.com.


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