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US planning for the Maduro raid eyed a time when much of the Venezuelan military was expected to be on holiday, memo reveals

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US planning for the high-risk raid to apprehend Venezuela’s former president, Nicolás Maduro, centered on a time when much of the country’s military would be on holiday leave, a newly released memo reveals.

The December 23 memorandum from the Department of Justice’s Office of Legal Counsel offers fresh details about how the US planned to pull off the daring nighttime raid to capture Maduro in his fortified compound and transport him to New York to stand trial. The former leader has pleaded not guilty to the drug and weapons charges he faces.

The raid began late on January 2 and ran into the next day. President Donald Trump said on January 3 that the initial plan was for the operation to occur four days earlier, on December 30, but he decided to wait for better weather.

“The expected duration of the operation within Venezuelan territory is [redacted] hours,” wrote T. Elliot Gaiser, a US assistant attorney general, wrote in the late December DOJ memo, which looks into the legality of the raid and was made public this week. Much of the planning section is blacked out.

“In order to minimize casualties, the strike will take place at 0100 am (local time) on a date where a maximum number of Venezuelan military would be on leave for the holidays,” Gaiser wrote.


A squad of Venezuelan Air Force K8W aircraft overflies during the 2025 Venezuela industrial aviation expo at the Libertador Air Base in Maracay, Aragua State, Venezuela, on November 29, 2025.

The US attacked Venezuelan military targets as part of its raid earlier this month.

Federico PARRA/AFP via Getty Images



It’s unclear how many soldiers were away when the US actually executed the operation in January. Dozens of Venezuelan and Cuban security personnel were killed, the two countries said after Operation Absolute Resolve concluded.

The DOJ memo, which cited Pentagon planning information and details how the US could effectively present the action as a law enforcement operation rather than an act of war, said that the US expected to encounter “significant resistance” from Venezuela’s air defenses.

That anticipated resistance includes several dozen anti-aircraft systems on the approach to Fuerte Tiuna, a major military installation in Caracas where Maduro and his wife were believed to be and, indeed, were at the time of the operation.

The memo outlined how US aircraft would strike air defense systems to clear a path for assault forces to reach Tiuna. It said that the Pentagon aimed to target a local power switching station to keep the power off, which could explain Trump’s post-raid remarks that a “certain expertise” was used to turn off the lights in Caracas.

The US could have also carried out a cyberattack or employed electronic warfare capabilities. “Kinetic operations will be preceded by non-kinetic action,” the memo said.


A fuel tanker truck drives past US Air Force F-35 Lightning II and F-22 Raptor fighter jets on the tarmac at the former Roosevelt Roads naval base, after US President Donald Trump said the US has struck Venezuela and captured its President Nicolás Maduro, in Ceiba, Puerto Rico, January 3, 2026.

More than 150 US aircraft participated in the operation.

Eva Marie Uzcategui/REUTERS



The memo was published several days before the raid, so it’s unclear how US planning may have changed between the time it was written and the actual operation.

Dan Caine, the chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, said on January 3 after the raid that more than 150 US aircraft participated in the operation, including stealth jets, electronic attack aircraft, surveillance and reconnaissance planes, airborne early warning aircraft, bombers, and drones.

Many of these aircraft targeted and engaged Venezuela’s air defenses to clear a path for low-flying helicopters carrying the forces that stormed Maduro’s compound and apprehended the former president and his wife, consistent with the planning memo.

The US didn’t lose any aircraft during the raid. A helicopter took a hit but still remained operational, and a defense official said seven American service members were wounded during the night.

“Risks to the mission are significant,” the memo said, adding that its “success will depend on surprise.” In the aftermath, Caine said the US achieved “totally the element of surprise.”




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‘Misery Map’ shows holiday travel chaos on both coasts with canceled and delayed flights

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A turbulent year for air travel isn’t over yet.

Snow and rainstorms hit multiple states on both coasts on Christmas Eve and Christmas Day, and are now heading for the Northeast, including New York, New Jersey, and Pennsylvania. Travellers are now having a difficult time getting home as major airports see mass delays and cancellations.

According to the “Misery Map,” published by FlightAware, which tracks real-time flight disruptions, there have been over 1,000 delays and more than 350 cancellations across the largest US airports as of 6:45 p.m. ET on Friday.

Here’s a look at the latest flight disruptions, and when you may expect to fly if your flight has been canceled.

The Midwest and the East Coast


Screenshot of Misery map

JFK International Airport is experiencing more than 369 cancellations and 210 delays.

Screenshot



The storm that first hit the Midwest is coming for the East Coast. New York City is set to see the most snow it has seen in years, since the last time it saw at least 4 inches of snow was January 2022. New Jersey and upstate New York will see similar weather conditions.

The NYC Emergency Management said in a press release that “snow is expected to develop Friday afternoon and intensify into steady, accumulating snow Friday night.” The National Weather Service has forecast 3 to 7 inches of snow with locally higher amounts possible.

According to FlightAware, JFK International Airport is experiencing 369 cancellations, with 210 on Friday alone. The situation at Newark Liberty International Airport is also not optimistic, with 244 cancellations and counting.

Based on the Misery Map, flights from airports around NYC to Chicago, Detroit, and Denver are seeing the highest number of delays and cancellations.

The West Coast


Misery map

Los Angeles International Airport is seeing a total of 283 delays and 41 cancellations.

Screenshot



The West Coast is slowly recovering from an exceptionally wet Christmas.

Over the past two days, most residents of California have received at least one weather warning as an atmospheric river accompanied by high winds, floods, and mudslides hit the Golden State. The NWS said that this Christmas season is the wettest one Los Angeles has experienced in 54 years.

The San Francisco International Airport said that 153 flights had been delayed on Friday morning due to windy conditions. To make matters worse, the police briefly shut down Terminal 1 due to a “suspicious package,” but then reopened it without explanation. By midday, FlightAware reports that a total of 381 flights from SFO have been delayed.

According to the Misery Map, flights from the Los Angeles International Airport to Seattle, Salt Lake City, Denver, and the East Coast are all experiencing disruptions. FlightAware counted a total of 283 delays and 41 cancellations.

The disruptions come at the end of a tough year for air travel.

High-profile plane accidents, including when an American Airlines Flight crashed into a Black Hawk helicopter, and the firing of hundreds of FAA employees by the White House DOGE office, triggered a newfound fear of flying among some Americans earlier this year.

The subsequent government shutdown also led to flying snags this year, as air traffic controllers who were left without pay called in sick, and some airports were paralyzed.




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I tried the famous $140 cake that Tom Cruise gifts to his celebrity friends every holiday season

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  • I tried the famous “Tom Cruise Cake,” which the actor sends to a select group every Christmas.
  • Recipients have included Glen Powell, Jon Hamm, Kirsten Dunst, and Elle and Dakota Fanning.
  • The dessert is a white chocolate bundt cake from Doan’s Bakery in Los Angeles.

‘Twas the weeks before Christmas, when all through Hollywood, every celebrity was stirring, even Glen Powell.

Their assistants and publicists checked the mail with care, in hopes that the famous “Tom Cruise Cake” would soon be there.

We may have taken some creative liberties with the iconic “A Visit from St. Nicholas” poem, but there’s no denying that Cruise’s annual gift has become the stuff of legends.

Every year, the “Mission: Impossible” star sends white chocolate coconut bundt cakes from Doan’s Bakery in Los Angeles to a select group of friends and former costars. It’s a list that every celebrity wants to be on.

For those not on the list or local to LA, the famous cake is also available on Goldbelly for $140. Of course, I had to order one for the holidays to see what all the hype was about.

Katie Holmes introduced Tom Cruise to his favorite Christmas gift.

Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes split in 2012.

Fairchild Archive/Penske Media via Getty Images

Karen Doan, the self-taught baker behind the famous cake, revealed during a 2021 interview with Spectrum News 1 that Holmes, who was married to Cruise from 2006 to 2012, had learned about Doan’s Bakery from Diane Keaton while they were working on the 2008 film “Mad Money.”

“When Tom and Katie had a big party at their new home in Beverly Hills, we did all the cakes,” Doan said. “They loved it.”

Cruise and Holmes’ marriage didn’t last, but his relationship with Doan’s Bakery has continued for over a decade.

“This has become so popular that I would say when the phone rings, 80% of the people, that’s what they want,” Doan said about the coconut cake in 2021.

The “Tom Cruise Cake,” as it’s since been nicknamed, has become a status symbol in Hollywood.


Tom Cruise

Cruise always sends the cake to his former costars, including Glen Powell and Tom Hanks.

Gareth Cattermole/Getty Images

Whether it’s a bouquet of flowers from Beyoncé or some Meghan Markle marmalade, the A-list loves to show off their exclusive gifts on Instagram. Celebrities, they’re just like us!

The “Tom Cruise Cake” is no different. Stars like Mindy Kaling and Glen Powell have posted pictures of their cakes, and the famous dessert is a frequent discussion on the talk show circuit. Celebrity gossip blogs even publish lists detailing which celebrities — including Jon Hamm, the Fanning sisters, and Angela Bassett — make the cut every year.

The cake itself has also won high praise. Kirsten Dunst told Graham Norton in 2016 that it was the “best coconut cake I’ve ever had in my life,” and Tom Hanks called it “off-the-scale fantastic” during a 2023 video for Mythical Kitchen. The actor loves the cake so much that he said it would be one of the dishes he’d want for his last meal on earth.

I don’t think I’ve ever tried a cake with so much hype. Clearly, it had a lot to live up to.

My cake arrived two days after I ordered it on Goldbelly.


Tom Cruise cake in its shipping box

The cake was individually wrapped in plastic and tied with a green bow.

Anneta Konstantinides/Business Insider

I ordered the cake on December 18 and selected two-day shipping, which was an additional $35. There were also options for five-day delivery ($20) and six-day delivery (free). Unfortunately, due to high demand, you now need to join a waitlist for the cake on Goldbelly, although those in LA can still purchase it from Doan’s Bakery for the much cheaper cost of $66.

The dessert, which ships nationwide, was delivered frozen with dry ice. The cake itself was individually wrapped in plastic, topped with a bright-green bow, and tucked inside a Doan’s Bakery box.

I unwrapped the cake and stuck it in the fridge to defrost overnight.


Tom Cruise cake unwrapped

The cake from Doan’s Bakery serves 12 to 16 people.

Anneta Konstantinides/Business Insider

The hefty 10-inch cake — which serves 12-16 people and weighs 3 pounds — can last in the refrigerator for up to five days or in the freezer for four months.

Cobie Smulders told Jimmy Fallon in 2019 that she’ll “slowly chip away” at the dessert until March.

When my family and I first tried the cake, it was still pretty frozen.


Tom Cruise cake sliced

Slicing into the bundt cake.

Anneta Konstantinides/Business Insider

With its generous dusting of coconut flakes, the bundt cake makes for an angelic and festive centerpiece. But, at first, it was hard to appreciate the flavor.

This is already a dense and buttery cake, and it hadn’t fully defrosted after 24 hours in the fridge. Paired with the cream cheese frosting, the texture was really heavy. My parents and I weren’t super impressed, but we decided to hold our opinion and give the cake another day to fully defrost.

With each passing day, we liked the cake more and more.


A slice of Tom Cruise cake

A slice of the white chocolate bundt cake.

Anneta Konstantinides/Business Insider

This is definitely a maximalist cake — something Doan said was always part of her ethos.

“I don’t skimp on ingredients,” she said during the Spectrum News 1 segment in 2021. “Everyone says, ‘Less is more, Karen,’ because I want to put more white chips. I want to put more coconut!”

I’m glad she didn’t listen when she created this cake recipe, especially when it came to the white chocolate chunks. Their texture adds just a hint of delicious crunch to the cake, and there’s a warmth to the flavor that helps cut through the intense punch of sweetness. The toasted flakes are also a nice touch, adding depth without giving each bite an overwhelming coconut flavor.

When I woke up for breakfast one morning this week, I found myself craving another slice of the cake. It had surprisingly grown on me. My parents agreed, although they’re not convinced it’s worth the price.

“I’d eat it again, if someone sent it as a gift,” my dad said.

You heard him, Tom!




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As my teens get older, they’re fiercely embracing our holiday traditions again. I love it.

by with No Comment Xpandfy

As a mom of three teens, ages 14 to 18, I’ve had my share of years as the bringer of holiday magic. While I never welcomed the Elf on the Shelf into our home (no regrets), I did pretty much every other holiday tradition, including festive train rides and mall photos with Santa.

In the years when my kids were young, the weekends between Thanksgiving and New Year’s were packed with holiday activities, leaving me exhausted and counting the days until they went back to school in January. The elation of Santa’s arrival was paired with too-early wakeups and too many presents to assemble late at night. I loved seeing the joy in their eyes when they opened that LEGO set or butterfly-growing kit, but man, it was exhausting.

Then came the tween years, which had me begging for someone — anyone — to join me on our annual drive through the neighborhood to look for the best holiday lights. These were the years when everything seemed like forced family fun, and I had to resort to heavy bribery (or light threats) to get anyone to come along.


The author poses next to a Christmas tree with her husband and their three children.

The author said her kids stopped enjoying holiday traditions they once loved when they became tweens. Now that they’re older, they’re starting to enjoy them in new ways.

Courtesy of Kate Loweth



My teens have come back around

It was only in the last year or so that I’ve seen a change in my kids. It started with my 18-year-old daughter planning a trip to the pumpkin patch with her high school friends. I had resigned myself to grocery-store pumpkins the last few years, as nobody seemed excited to make the effort to visit the pumpkin patch (and I wasn’t paying pumpkin-patch prices for grumpy kids). When my daughter mentioned that she and a few friends were going to the pumpkin patch on a Friday night, I was surprised but secretly excited, because who doesn’t love wholesome teen activities?

Then, when I wasn’t immediately busy decorating our house for Christmas after Thanksgiving, my 14-year-old son took it upon himself to hang the stockings and decorate the tree. My middle kid put up the outdoor Christmas lights without any adult prompting or assistance. Then, after skipping the nearby drive-thru lights experience for many years, the kids asked if we’d be going this year. Immediate yes.


The author's son stands on a ladder while hanging holiday lights on the family home.

The author said her middle child took it upon himself to hang holiday lights on the family home.

Courtesy of Kate Loweth



Passing on the holiday magic

These festive activities, which once felt optional and even embarrassing to my kids, now seem to matter to them once again. While there’s nothing like those early years with kids who are all in on Santa and his holiday magic, I’m finding a different kind of joy in this stage. I love watching my teenagers take it upon themselves to fill our house with the holiday spirit, not because I asked them to, but because they wanted to.

For years, I carried the responsibility of creating holiday magic. Now I see that letting go made room for something better. As my kids inch closer to leaving the nest, I love seeing them bring new life to our family traditions.




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Holiday gifting just got a creative boost from ChatGPT

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This as-told-to essay is based on a conversation with Rashel Hariri, a 38-year-old founder and host of “She’s Interesting,” who lives in Arkansas. It’s been edited for length and clarity.

I’ve always shown care through gift-giving. When I choose something for someone, I want them to feel seen and have something they’ll actually use. I’m not someone who is going to give luxurious, massive gifts — but the gifts I give are meaningful.

Over the last year, AI has become the most effective way for me to do that. ChatGPT has become like a gifting concierge, helping me organize my brainstorming and land on presents that feel thoughtful, personal, and aligned with someone’s real life.

I developed a framework for what makes a good gift

Through conversations with the women in my podcast community, “She’s Interesting,” I realized that people — particularly women in their 30s like myself — value three main things: gifts that feel a little luxurious, gifts that expand our brains (like books or courses), and gifts that make the day-to-day easier. This became my three-part framework for ChatGPT.

With this information, I started a project in ChatGPT — which creates a space to group similar chats around the gifting topic — and provided custom instructions for the AI to follow, like background information on my framework.

If you want to create your own framework, think about what’s most important to you and the people around you. What makes you the happiest? What types of things make your life easier? Use the answers to those questions as main points in your framework.


A conversation with ChatGPT about what types of gifts to give friends and family

Create a project in ChatGPT to organize similar topics and ideas.

Photo courtesy of Rashel Hariri



I started an ongoing conversation for each recipient in ChatGPT

Within my ChatGPT project, I have separate conversations for each of the people I’m shopping for: my husband, friends, and colleagues.

I start by describing each person, including basic demographics, as well as deeper information, such as what’s important to them, their likes and dislikes, personal goals, and things they’re struggling with. I might also include their astrological sign and their favorite colors.

You have to be someone who pays attention to your friends, because otherwise, AI will give you basic suggestions. I try to give ChatGPT everything I know about the person. If I have a conversation with a friend or family member and something stands out, I can go into the chat and say, “Take note that this person said X.” The more I use it, the more it learns.

When it’s time to buy a gift, even if it’s months later, all those details are stored. It’s a mental relief, like your notes app, but way smarter because it responds to you.

With all of that information uploaded, I prompt ChatGPT to come up with gift ideas within my framework for each person. You can also give it a specific budget to work within.

The tool comes up with initial ideas and explains why each gift works for the recipient. From there, it becomes a conversation — almost like talking to the person I’m shopping for. I might ask for more ideas within a category, or the ideas might remind me of something else about the person, and I’ll ask it to generate new suggestions with that information.

I still make the final gift decision, but ChatGPT can be speedy and creative

I used to brainstorm all of this myself, but AI has made the process 60 to 70% faster, and given me a tool I can return to for future gift ideas.

I still choose the final gifts to give, but if I’m feeling stuck between ideas, I’ll go back to ChatGPT and say, “Here are two items I’m deciding between. Help me narrow it down.” It asks me questions to help decide: Does she need this? What’s her plan for the next three months?

AI often makes suggestions I wouldn’t have thought of. I told ChatGPT about a friend who struggles to find any time for himself while balancing a busy career and two kids. The tool recommended “The Five-Minute Journal.” He loved it — it was thoughtful and tailored.

The best part of gift-giving is that moment when someone opens it and says, “Oh my God, you know me so well!” We want to give the people we love something that makes them feel good, and this process has made it easier for me to do that.




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All my kids have grown up, so we’ve changed our holiday traditions. We scaled back on decorations and added a day of festivities.

by with No Comment Xpandfy

Cookie baking, decorating, stuffing stockings, building a holiday village scene with Iron Man and Thor action figures — just like a huggable snowman discovered, everyone has traditions for that time of year.

We’re a blended family with kids ranging in age from 17 to mid-30s. As our kids have moved from being wide awake at 5:30 am to testing Santa to creating their own holiday magic as adults, our traditions have grown and changed with them. As a result, it’s all less stressful.

We’ve expanded the days of the holiday


Family around table

A Christmas Tweve holiday lunch with Christmas crackers and cassoulet.

Courtesy of the author



Right around Thanksgiving, I am reminded that it’s not just wonderful, it’s also a wacky and wearisome time of the year.

I grew up in blended families. By middle school, both of my parents had remarried, doubling the number of families to see during the festive season. By the fifth stop on a whirlwind Christmas Day in high school, my brother and I were stuffed with cookies and even burned out on opening presents.

For most of our 20-year marriage, I’ve felt like I’m reliving those teenage years all over again as we try to squeeze in his family, my multiple families, and the kids’ other family commitments into two overstuffed days of festive cheer.

As the kids got older and added commitments to their significant others and time for their own families, we realized Christmas is too short. Two days were just not enough time to cram in all the festivities and have at least a little time left for our family.

So, some years, we celebrate what we call “Christmas Tweve,” the day before Christmas Eve. We spend most of the day hanging out, having a festive feast, and then opening gifts. Sometimes we have a houseful overnight, and everyone stays up late watching Christmas movies and eating my feeble attempts at pancake art for breakfast.

We have scaled back the decorations


Advent calendar

Our Advent calendar is surrounded by my favorite decoration, kid’s artwork.

Courtesy of the author



We are down to two kids living at home, and the number of holiday decorations has reduced.

One year, we had multiple trees, each decorated in a different theme — a candy-themed 5-foot tree, a mini tree in the kids’ rooms, and a fancy ornament 7-foot tree.

There were two Christmas villages, one in the kitchen. The kitchen and living room looked like Christmas exploded in them. Every room had a few decorations — a tree, figurines, holiday towels, and a wreath on the door.

There was a time when seven of us were decorating. Now it’s down to four, and we’re focusing more on the nostalgic and sentimental decorations. Our tree is covered in ornaments from places we’ve traveled and the kids created.

I used to frame the sliding door in our kitchen with the kids’ artwork – cotton-ball snowmen, sparkly handprint reindeer, and a painted winter scene.

A few years ago, my youngest and I had a holiday moment of tension when I displayed elementary school artwork with their previous name. They’re nonbinary, and it bothered them seeing that name plastered all over the kitchen.

I got creative and modified my favorites — erasing letters, trimming corners, and folding back edges. Now I display favorites onl,y and it’s down to one wall shared with our Advent calendar.

Our Advent calendar changes along with our family


Dog advent calendar

One year the kids weren’t into the Advent calendar, so we did it with the dog instead.

Courtesy of the author



When the kids were younger, we had multiple Advent calendars — one with treats and one with toys. One year, it was Disney Tsum Tsums, there was “Star Wars” Lego, and then socks. A few years ago, no one was really interested, and we got one for the dog.

Now, our Advent calendar is a meaningful tradition. It’s the same one each year, and this year, my youngest helped shop for the candy, hopefully marking the start of a new tradition.

Our kids have started their own traditions


Holiday village with superheroes

Our kids have made our holiday village their own.

Courtesy of the author



When she was in college, my stepdaughter started making an annual ornament with a silly picture of herself. The perfect gift on a tight budget — inexpensive and very meaningful.

Now she’s a mom, married, and decorating her own place. Every year, my husband, the two youngest kids, and I put all 11 ornaments she’s created on the tree — her with Chipotle burritos, in a snow globe, and with her son.

A few years ago, our oldest came to stay when his spouse was out of town. I put him and his two younger siblings in charge of the holiday village.

When I heard my youngest rummaging through their toys, I knew the holiday village was going to have a different vibe than it had in past years. Lego minifigs, Power Rangers, and assorted superheroes perched on festive rooftops and hid in the snow.

Every stage of our kids’ lives means something new. Sometimes it’s capped with a major milestone, such as a driver’s license, wedding, or graduation, as a reminder to stop and savor this time.

With the holidays, there wasn’t a big event to mentally prepare for the change. Gradually, things were different — gone were the days of classroom holiday party crafts and a big group decorating the tree. Now it’s crafts from doggy day care, Christmas Tweve, and Spider-Man in the village. And I love it.




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Amtrak’s unionized workers are getting $900 holiday bonuses after their managers gave up half of theirs

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Amtrak is redistributing the wealth this holiday season at the urging of the Trump administration.

Amtrak is giving $900 holiday bonuses to its over 18,000 unionized workers, the Department of Transportation said this week.

The bonuses are the result of a deal between the DOT and Amtrak management and its board of directors, the agency said, adding that Amtrak’s executive leadership agreed to give up half of their own bonus package to make it happen.

“Christmas is coming a little early this year for 18,000 @Amtrak frontline workers, thanks to leadership who gave back their holiday bonuses,” Transportation Secretary Sean Duffy said in an Instagram post on Friday. 

President Donald Trump’s administration has been critical of the existing bonus structures for Amtrak leadership, with the DOT saying they resulted in “exorbitant payouts for senior staff.” As part of the agreement, Amtrak’s board has agreed to get rid of long-term incentive bonuses for its senior executives, DOT said.

“We applaud Amtrak and its executive leadership team for doing the right thing,” Steven G. Bradbury, the deputy secretary of Transportation and a representative for Duffy to Amtrak’s board, said in a statement.

Amtrak did not respond to a request for comment.

The Wall Street Journal reported that around 246 Amtrak managers gave up part of their bonuses that totaled $16.2 million. The DOT did not provide additional comment or confirm those figures when reached by Business Insider.

In its announcement, the DOT touted Amtrak’s record-breaking year. The national passenger rail service had a record 34.5 million customer trips in the fiscal year that ended in September, posting a record adjusted ticket revenue of $2.7 billion.

The bonuses were reminiscent of some received by other transportation workers this holiday season. The Federal Aviation Administration said it was giving $10,000 bonuses to the nearly 800 air traffic controllers who had perfect attendance during the government shutdown.

Have a tip? Contact this reporter via email at kvlamis@businessinsider.com or Signal at @kelseyv.21. Use a personal email address, a nonwork WiFi network, and a nonwork device; here’s our guide to sharing information securely.




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I used to obsess over perfect holiday cards. When I finally stopped sending them, I found more joy in the season.

by with No Comment Xpandfy

I grew up in a house where coordinated family photos were the norm. My mom would line up the four of us kids in matching outfits — one year, freshly pressed sailor suits; the next, velvet dresses, with my brother in a matching tie. Every stray hair would be tucked in or sprayed down.

We were bribed (or more like lightly threatened) to smile with our eyes open, something that’s more difficult than it should be when you’re a kid who just wants to be DONE.

Then came the card — glossy, cheerful, and perfectly posed — the proof that our family had it all together, at least for one photo.

I kept the tradition going with my own kids

So when I had my own kids, I continued this tradition without question. Every year, I’d book a family photo session well in advance of Thanksgiving, hoping that temperamental Chicago weather wouldn’t put a damper on our outdoor photos.

I’d scour Pinterest for outfit inspiration, aiming for a coordinated but not totally matching vibe. The goal was to capture one frame of perfection — a photo worthy of the hundreds of envelopes I’d soon address by hand.


Holiday card

The author continued the tradition of holiday cards with her family.

Courtesy of the author



But the reality behind those photos was far from picture-perfect. There were bribes of hot chocolate and complaints about itchy sweaters. I’d smile through gritted teeth while the photographer tried to get everyone looking in the same direction. By the end, the kids were shivering, my husband was done, and I was wondering why we put ourselves through this every year.

And that was just phase one.

Once we had a “good enough” photo, I’d spend hours designing the cards online, tweaking fonts, choosing layouts, and agonizing over whether to include a photo of the whole family or the cuter one of just the kids.

Then came the addressing, stamping, and mailing — usually squeezed in between wrapping gifts, decorating the house, and trying to keep the ambiance somewhat festive. What was meant to be a joyful holiday tradition had turned into yet another item on my never-ending to-do list.

Quitting holiday cards lifted a huge weight

Two years ago, I finally asked myself, “Why am I doing this?”

When I couldn’t come up with a satisfying answer beyond “because we’ve always done it,” I decided to stop. No family photo shoot. No card design. No envelopes or stamps.


Family at ski resort

The author feels her family photos feel more authentic now.

Courtesy of the author



That first year without holiday cards felt strange at first, like I’d forgotten to do something important. December rolled around, and my mailbox filled with cheerful greetings from family and friends, each one featuring those perfectly posed families and braggy year-end recaps. For a fleeting moment, I felt a pang of guilt, like I’d dropped out of a club I’d been part of my entire adult life.

But then the feeling passed. What replaced it was a deep sense of relief.

Without the looming card deadline, December suddenly opened up. I had more time to actually enjoy the holidays — to bake sugar cookies in the shape of stars and drive through neighborhoods adorned in holiday lights. The pressure to present our family in a certain way — smiling, coordinated, festive — simply disappeared.

Now our photos (and holidays) feel more authentic

Instead of orchestrating a posed photo, we started taking more spontaneous pictures: messy, candid, real. A selfie at a local holiday market. A blurry shot of everyone laughing in front of our silver faux Christmas tree. A snowy mountain scene after a day of skiing. These pictures weren’t perfect, but they were us. And when I looked at them later, they didn’t remind me of how stressed I felt trying to get everyone to cooperate — they reminded me of how much fun we actually had.


Family posing by tree

The author and her family.

Courtesy of the author



Something else unexpected also happened: no one seemed to miss the cards. The people who truly wanted to connect reached out in other ways. It made me realize that keeping in touch didn’t have to involve postage and cardstock.

Letting go of the holiday card tradition didn’t make the end of the year any less special — it made them more so. It gave me permission to simplify and remember that the memories that matter most aren’t ones you send in the mail. They’re the ones you make together, no matching outfits required.




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This year’s Netflix holiday movies ranked from worst to best

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People have been describing “My Secret Santa” (a title that doesn’t even make sense, by the way) as the “reverse ‘Mrs. Doubtfire.'”

To that I say: just go watch “Mrs. Doubtfire.”

My list of notes, observations, and questions was by far the longest for this movie, which stars Alexandra Breckenridge as Taylor Jacobsen, a single mom (and former teen rock star, somehow), who decides her daughter must go to an exorbitantly expensive snowboarding school at a ski resort, and the only job she can find requires dressing up as an old man to become the resort’s resident Santa Claus.

Along the way, she meets a man, Matthew (Ryan Eggold), who is quite determined to get to know her — for truly no reason besides the fact that she’s pretty — but, gasp, he turns out to be the resort owner’s son.

This might all sound pretty normal, but believe me, this movie seems like it was written backward. As in, since they needed Taylor to have access to some of the best prosthetics since “Frankenstein,” her brother and his husband happen to be obsessed with Halloween.

Also, Taylor was just really bad at being Santa for too much of the runtime.

This brings me to the villain, Natasha, as played by Tia Mowry. She’s hyper-competent, dedicated to her job, and has been at the resort for years. But when it’s time for someone to get a promotion, Matthew the Nepo Baby gets it instead. Was I supposed to not root for her as she tried to sabotage his (quite poor) attempts at running things? Because I did not! She deserved the promotion!

Ultimately, this movie is deranged (but not in a fun way), the two leads have no chemistry, and it makes the cardinal sin of evoking a much better movie. It was a skip from me.




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15 holiday romance books to get you in the festive spirit

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Maelyn Jones just had the worst Christmas of her life. After moving in with her parents when her career hit a standstill, Mae had hoped that spending Christmas at a cabin in Utah with her parents’ lifelong friends and their kids would bring her happiness, as it does every year.

Instead, Mae drunkenly kisses Theo, her best friend and the brother of the man she’s loved as long as she can remember, Andrew. Then, she finds out the cabin is being sold. It feels like everything she had dreamed of, including any shot at a future with Andrew, is disappearing.

Mae leaves the cabin feeling more despondent than ever, but when she’s in a car crash on her way out of town, she wakes up to find herself back on a flight to Utah. Christmas hasn’t even happened, and Mae has a chance to do everything all over again.

Before she knows it, Mae is trapped in a holiday time loop, reliving Christmas over and over again as new troubles and hijinks ensue. She has to figure out how to get back on track, and being honest about how she feels about Andrew might just be the key to unlocking her future.

“In A Holidaze,” Christina Lauren’s holiday spin on “Groundhog Day,” is a fun, romantic, and festive read.




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