Naydeline Mejia

My move from the US to Paris has come with a lot of benefits, but finding love has felt impossible

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When I visited Paris for the first time in 2022 during my inaugural solo trip, I fell in love with the city instantly.

Sipping my chocolat chaud while reading Hemingway’s “A Moveable Feast” at the legendary Café de Flore, enveloped in the charming Haussmannian architecture the city is renowned for, I whispered to myself: “I could live here.”

It wasn’t until two years later that I would finally make the move abroad after being accepted into a graduate school program and subsequently quitting my dream job at a big-time magazine to fulfill my newest dream of living in Paris.

Although moving to France from the US has come with plenty of benefits, such as a slower pace of living and a healthier work-life balance, one part of my journey has significantly suffered: my love life.

For a city that markets itself as the City of Love, I have found building a meaningful connection with someone in Paris nearly impossible.

The language barrier has made it difficult to connect with potential partners deeply


Woman reading book outside at cafe in PAris

I can speak French, but I still feel a language barrier on dates.

Naydeline Mejia



As someone with an intermediate level of French, I knew when entering the Parisian dating scene that language would be a hurdle, especially when going on dates with non-native English speakers.

During dates with people who didn’t feel comfortable speaking English or didn’t speak the language very well, we’d mostly converse in French — I found banter to be difficult and less fluid.

My personality also took a hit. Instead of my usual, flirty self, I felt more reserved because I couldn’t express myself fully in my third language.

Even during dates where the other person did have a good command of English, I felt as though we lacked a certain access to one another as we weren’t able to express ourselves in our mother tongues.

As a result, I convinced myself our connection would never reach deeper than center ground.

I’ve had some great dates, but intimacy doesn’t always translate into romance


Woman smiling in PAris under umbrella

For me, romance has been hard to find in Paris.

Naydeline Mejia



Another barrier to finding love while dating in Paris has been the differing dating customs.

In my experience, it’s not uncommon for French partners to want to go on regular romantic dates and engage in public displays of affection, like holding hands, even if we’re only seeing each other casually.

As someone who is used to clearly defined relationship boundaries and labels, like “friends with benefits” and “exclusive,” while dating in the US, I find it a bit disorienting to receive forms of intimacy usually reserved for a serious relationship from a non-romantic partner.

I have also observed that the “what are we?” conversation is not really common in France. After a few successful dates, it’s often assumed that you and your dating partner are exclusive. In comparison, in the US, a conversation around exclusivity usually precedes becoming “official” with someone.

The lack of a clear conversation around labels has often left me feeling confused about where I stand with potential partners or the relationship feeling unbalanced.

I have considered moving back to the US for a better chance at love


Woman walking next to building in Paris

I’m not sure if I’ll find love in Paris.

Naydeline Mejia



While I can’t say my dating experience was that much better when I was living in the US, I do consider moving back home to New York to increase my chances of finding a meaningful partnership.

In my experience, there are many benefits to dating in your native country — from speaking the same language to upholding similar dating rules and customs, and, oftentimes, having shared experiences that can only be witnessed by someone from your hometown.

At the same time, some of the most beautiful love stories defy cultural and language barriers. I would be remiss not to try to work past the difficult parts of dating abroad in my search for a partner who makes my heart flutter long past the honeymoon stage.

Nevertheless, while concurrently navigating a seemingly never-ending dating pool, I have also been enjoying my alone time in this fairy-tale city.

In her essay, “Why Are All the Lonely Girls Going to Paris?,” writer Jenna Ryu argues that perhaps inhabiting this so-called City of Love is not about finding a storybook romance, but celebrating the beauty of solitude, especially as a young, single woman.

I have never felt more sure of myself and in love with life than during these past two years living in Paris. The love I would often reserve for a romantic partner, I have been pouring onto myself — and that has made all the difference.




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I thought traveling with toddlers was impossible. Now we live in Spain for 2 months at a time — and it’s cheaper than Disney.

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When I was in junior high, I had a family history project. I didn’t know it then, but that project would spark a lifelong interest in my heritage.

In 2018, my wife (who is Cuban with Spanish ancestry) and I took a road trip through snow-capped Spanish mountains, meeting new family members that I never knew existed. When we met these relatives, we all grew close.

My wife and I then wanted to reconnect with our Spanish heritage in a whole new way. We decided that the best way to do so would be to travel to Spain for long stretches, with our toddlers.

For the past three years, we’ve spent two-month stints in Europe as a growing family.

At first, we thought long-term travel sounded impractical — and expensive

When my daughter was 2 years old, she had a 45-minute meltdown at the Miami International Airport. While we were resolving a ticketing issue for our baby boy, our daughter was throwing a loud tantrum. We endured many side-eyes from soon-to-be passengers (one of them snapped at us), and eventually, an airline employee frantically asked us to make it stop.

I thought we would never travel again, but the idea of an extended trip kept lingering in our minds.

On shorter trips, we pushed through and learned tricks that made travel easier, like using inflatable beds that rest on plane seats, small trinkets to play with, and plenty of snacks. With time, we knew we had a shot.


John Paul Hernandez's toddlers sitting on a wall in spain

The author’s toddlers love traveling in Spain.

Courtesy of John Paul Hernandez



We now stay in Spain for 2 months at a time

Thanks to the flexibility of freelancing and some practice in penny pinching, we learned we could travel to Spain for two months for about the cost of a typical family Disney trip.

A trip to Disney for a family of four can cost $6,000 to $10,000 a week. An extended trip to Spain, I quickly learned, ranged from $4,220 to $4,900 for an apartment in the central parts of major cities.

When we book an apartment for a month or two in Spain, for example, we get rates much lower than for a shorter trip because Airbnb offers discounts on longer stays.

To get the family to Europe, we collect airline miles from credit card offers and fly mostly for free.

While on the trip, we rely on public transportation and shift our stay from a “tourist” experience to living like a local to continue saving money.

This worked for our trips in 2023, 2024, and 2025.

We lived like locals in Spain

When we transitioned from visiting to living in Spain, we focused on the town we were in and the people around us. We didn’t eat out for every meal, but cooked traditional dishes with local ingredients.

Our neighbors became friends, and our kids played at parks with familiar faces. Eventually, these friends invited us to their homes, and we stayed in touch after our trips.

To explore the country, we focused on different regions. For example, in year one we stayed in the Comunidad Valenciana, then on other trips in the País Vasco and Andalucía.

Once we were in these regions, we focused mainly on our home base and explored the nearby cities on weekend trips.

Our kids have gained a lot so far

Our toddlers are now willing to try different foods without hesitation, no matter where we are. They understand and use words they normally wouldn’t hear at home in the US.

As they get older in school, some of the places and events they learn about will be personal because they’ve been there and touched the stones.

My son learned to walk in Spain and has had all of his birthdays there. Spain also became a base for exploring other countries thanks to cheap, short flights.

More families can do this than you’d think

Our experiences in Spain have inspired many of our friends and family. I’m helping a cousin and a neighbor plan similar trips with their children.

With budgeting and smart planning, it’s much more affordable than two-week vacations in many parts of the US.

I’m not sure how long we’ll be able to do extended stays like this, but I do know these memories will be ingrained in our family.

They’ve helped shape my kids’ lives (our third child is on the way), and they continue to inspire us even at home in the US — by cooking Spanish meals, enjoying the present through walks, and lingering over late-night, hourslong dinners.

John Paul Hernandez is a marketing writer for tech companies. He’s based in Florida’s Treasure Coast. Connect with him on LinkedIn.




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