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I left a mom group over parenting decisions. I don’t regret it.

by with No Comment Xpandfy

I should have sensed the judgment the minute I arrived at the first playdate with four kids in tow and another on the way. Instead, I was thrilled to finally find my “village” that I’d heard so much about — a group of moms who met a few times a month at nearby play spaces and coffee shops to commiserate and encourage each other.

I even brushed off the first comment I was met with, which, in hindsight, should have been a warning sign. “Wow, are they all yours?” It wasn’t the first or last time someone had a “witty” one-liner about my family size, which was completely on purpose and by choice, if they must know. My kids jumped into the playground with the others, and I settled in to find my new besties.


Mom and daughter

The author felt her parenting style didn’t match that of her moms’ group.

Courtesy of the author



The thing about mom groups, though, is that they often aren’t obviously terrible. In fact, they check all the boxes — moms at similar ages, stages, and struggles, getting together for camaraderie and community. We all had similar jogger set mom uniforms and extra-strong lattes on hand, hidden in the pockets of diaper bags to make it past “no food or drink” signs at indoor parks (no? Just me?).

But they aren’t always necessarily a good fit. All the feelings from this almost-perfect mom group I was once a part of resurfaced when Ashley Tisdale wrote an essay in The Cut, talking openly about how her mom group turned toxic.

I’m a free-range parent

My first feelings that I was “different” came when two of the younger kids had a small collision at the bottom of a slide. They tripped, fussed a bit, and in my parenting world, were ready to get back up and carry on. I’m used to being around people with widely differing parenting styles, but not used to being judged for mine.

I felt like my free-range parenting was judged by other moms who were more helicopter parents. The mom of the other kid who collided picked the child up, brushed them up, and performed a full check-up. Meanwhile, my own child popped up, whined a little, and ran off.


Boy in park

The author needed a safe space to vent and felt like the group she found was not it.

Courtesy of the author



Band-Aids and tissues were coming out to counteract tears, and a full-scale breakdown of the situation, complete with apologies and moment-by-moment recaps, had commenced. I enjoyed my coffee and didn’t give it much thought. I hadn’t noticed yet that my parenting style was a mismatch. To be clear, this is just my perception.

I needed a place to vent and feel safe

Slowly but surely, questions about my family size began to infiltrate conversations. I was used to one-liners from grannies at the grocery about having my hands full, but it felt like an onslaught.

It was the same thing with my career. After the group learned I was a working mom, running my own business full-time, I started to feel like an outsider. People spoke a lot about the negative sides of daycare, and the perks of being able to be a full-time mom, Their comments made it seem they weren’t interested in a different perspective, nor was there a question about why I work (because I want to) or about the immense benefits my kids have gotten through day care. I felt like there was an assumption that I was stuck in this terrible world of working motherhood against my will, with no way out.

Over time, I felt like the circus spectacle, and felt I had to have all the i’s dotted and t’s crossed on parenting topics, to show the naysayers that I was doing just fine with many kids, rather than finding a soft landing place to vent and share.

Parenting can be so isolating

I was lonely and desperate, so I clung to my mom group. The alternative was too scary. Nobody to hang out with on a boring Saturday or text when things get tough. It’s not just me — two-thirds of parents find the role isolating and lonely. But one day, I realized the abyss was better than the alternative.

This was the day they moved all the get-togethers to 10 a.m. on weekdays. They knew exactly where I’d be at 10 a.m. every weekday — working.

Although I haven’t found a similar style group, I realized that instead of looking for a whole village of besties, my village was already around me. It just didn’t look like 10 moms with lattes at play group. Instead, it involves the trainer who asks if my kid is over his third bout of strep, or my mom’s friend who texts me with some press-on nails she likes that would look good on me.

My real friends don’t demand we have precisely only 1.5 children, helicopter around our babies, or only wear pink on Wednesdays.




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A week of taking care of my 8 and 2-year-old grandkids left me exhausted. It also taught me we all need a little grace.

by with No Comment Xpandfy

On day five of caring for my 2-year-old and 8-year-old grandsons full-time, I almost snapped.

I had slept just a few hours and woke up dehydrated, my tongue dry and sticky, my head aching. In the bathroom, I noticed yellow specks on the porcelain rim. Not surprising with a 2-year-old in the house.

But then, at 7 a.m., there it was: a puddle circling the toilet with a musty odor rising from it. I flicked on the fan, reached for a paper towel to sop up the mess, and cautioned myself against overreacting.


Grandma and grandchild walking

The author took care of her grandsons for a week.

Courtesy of Kenny Withrow



My grandson said he could do things himself

Throughout the week, I had offered to help, but George always said he could do it himself. Then, he’d slam the door into its frame.

That puddle challenged my composure. “Keep calm,” I told myself. “He’s only 2, and at least you’re not changing poopy diapers.”

George knocked and asked if I was taking a shower. I stepped into the hallway and let him know I wasn’t happy.

No answer.

I told him there was pee all over the floor.

Both Grandpa and his older brother, Stanley, had shown him how to pee in a toilet, but apparently, George liked to lift the seat and aim for the circular opening. I’d watched him steer an RC car through impossible turns, so aiming into a toilet shouldn’t have been difficult.


Grandparents with grandchidlren

The youngest grandson is a grandpa boy.

Courtesy of Kenny Withrow



George dropped his head. This non-stop chatterer went silent. He turned toward the wall and buried his face in his shoulder.

After breakfast, George became his talkative self again as he drove trucks through kinetic sand, performed somersaults off the couch, and wheeled his scooter from room to room. When he needed a bathroom break, he opted for nature pees in the backyard.

But then, as I made lunch, George scooted into the bathroom and slammed the door.

I gave him some time, then slowly, silently, peeked inside. He wasn’t sitting. He wasn’t standing. He was kneeling — reaching toward the back wall with a gigantic wad of toilet paper. The bowl was clogged with more paper — voluminous amounts of it.

What I wanted to say: WE TALKED ABOUT THIS!

What I actually said: Nothing. I just sighed.

My grandkids taught me an important lesson

That’s when big brother Stanley intervened. During the day, George followed Stanley around, imitating his every move. At night, they shared a bedroom. They had bunk beds, but instead of using the top and bottom, George and Stanley chose to sleep side by side, arms around each other, in the bottom bunk.

Stanley took one look at George on his knees, flashed a big smile, and suggested I praise him for his good work.


Family brushing teeth together

The author learned an important lesson from her grandkids.

Courtesy of the author



Then Stanley looked right at George and told him what a good boy he was. No mention of clogging the toilet. No scolding that the mess was unnecessary. No criticism of the sticky wet floor. Not even a reminder to wash his hands. Just arms open for a hug.

I stood there speechless for a few seconds. Where I saw disaster, Stanley saw effort. While I considered a lecture, he opened his arms.

I herded both boys to the sink for hand washing before lunch. After a bite to eat, we played with Monster Trucks, and when George got cranky, I put him in bed for a nap. Then I played cards with Stanley and cleaned the bathroom with chlorine bleach.

When George woke up, my husband suggested an hour at the park. With Stanley at a friend’s house, George, Grandpa, and I headed off on foot.

They taught me we all need a little grace

George is Grandpa’s boy. Every sentence begins, “Grandpa, watch…” or “Grandpa, look at this…” or “Grandpa, can I….” He holds Grandpa’s hand in every parking lot and sits in Grandpa’s lap for every book.

But as we approached an intersection and Grandpa prompted him to hold hands, George surprised me.

Instead of taking Grandpa’s hand, he reached for me, squeezed my palm, and held on long after we crossed the street. His tiny fingers curled into my fist said he wanted us to be right again.

At bedtime, when he usually chose Grandpa, George asked me to read him a book. Five books. We didn’t talk about bathrooms or disinfectants or a better aim. I just snuggled him in my lap, pulled a blanket over us, and read the words slowly, to enjoy the story a little longer. I tucked him under the covers with Doggie, his favorite stuffed toy. I kissed him and said I love you.


Grandparents with kids

Courtesy of the author



It was 8 p.m. when I joined Grandpa in the living room, too tired to read my own book, pick up stray Hot Wheels, or empty the dishwasher. Longing for bed myself, I thought about the last several hours and what I should have done better.

And I realized the lesson of the day was not how to pee into a toilet, reason with a 2-year-old, or keep a bathroom spic and span.

The lesson was that we all need a little grace.

Stanley praised George, not for succeeding, but for trying. When was the last time I’d done that?

In our world of high expectations, perfection often feels like the goal. We’re so conditioned to correct and fix — our children, coworkers, or strangers on Instagram — that we forget what encouragement looks like.

And then there was George. Without words, he reached for my hand, an ordinary kindness with extraordinary power. Adults often forget this truth, too, that love repairs itself with simple gestures.

The best love, I realized, isn’t earned through perfection, but offered in the middle of our messes.




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I spent 2 weeks in Italy. Here are 5 things I’m glad I brought with me, and 2 I should’ve left at home.

by with No Comment Xpandfy

  • I travel to northern Italy often and have a good idea of what to pack.
  • However, I still find myself bringing along a few items I don’t need.
  • Some of my must-have items include a small umbrella, a good travel adaptor, and a tripod.

I’ve traveled to northern Italy for the past three years in a row, and there are a few things I never leave for my flight without. However, I still learn something new on every trip about what I need to bring and what I should have left at home.

This time, after two full weeks of trains, spritzes, hilltop towns, and cobblestone streets, I finally have a clear list of what actually earned its spot in my suitcase — and what I’m officially retiring from future Europe trips.

Here are five items I’m glad I packed for my trip to Italy, and a few things I could have done without.

A packable umbrella came in handy and didn’t take up too much space in my suitcase.

I always bring a small umbrella with me when I travel.

Chloe Caldwell

It has rained at least one day on each of my trips to Italy, so this time, I prepared by ordering a compact umbrella that came with a small, packable case.

It was easy to fit in my purse or backpack during our outings, and I whipped it out more than once. It wasn’t the highest quality, but it was convenient and portable.

A tripod makes it easy to get group photos.


Chloe and her friends pose for a photo in a vineyard.

Having a tripod means I no longer have to ask strangers to take my photo.

Chloe Caldwell

We’ve all asked a stranger to take our photo on vacation, and when we get the phone back, it’s fuzzy and there’s a thumb in the corner of the frame.

That’s why I bring a slim and easy-to-pack phone tripod with me on every trip. It fits in most small totes and can be propped up in seconds. The one I have also operates as a selfie stick.

Just set your phone on self-timer or download a remote shooting app, and you’re ready for finger-free group photos. This has also come in handy many times while I was solo traveling.

A backpack with a luggage flap is essential for seamless transportation.


Chloe poses on a train platform with a suitcase and backpack.

I love my Beis travel backpack.

Chloe Caldwell

Getting through airports, hopping on and off trains, and dragging my stuff across bumpy cobblestone walkways is the price I pay to visit such a beautiful destination.

One way I (literally) take some of the weight off my shoulders when moving from place to place is by using a backpack with a flap on the back that slips over the handle of my luggage.

I actually have more than one backpack with this feature now because it’s that much of a gamechanger for traveling. I regularly rotate between my Beis backpack and Portland Gear version.

I always bring a travel adaptor that works for multiple devices.


Chloe holds a travel adaptor.

I have a Tessan adapter for several regions of the world.

Chloe Caldwell

I love this Tessan adapter from Amazon because I can plug in multiple devices at once.

It has four outlets, two USB-A ports, and one USB-C port, so I know I can rely on it for charging my phone, plugging in my hair tools, and anything else I might need.

Plus, the plug folds down, making it even easier to pack. In addition to my universal adapter, I have this specific converter for several regions of the world.

I always travel with a small belt bag for daily essentials.


Two belt bags on a bed.

A belt bag makes it easy to stay hands-free during tours and activities.

Chloe Caldwell

When wandering through major tourist cities, I always carry an over-the-shoulder belt bag to keep my money, passport, phone, and cards safe and within arm’s reach.

These bags are also practical for sightseeing. For instance, I went on a three-hour walking tour of St. Mark’s Basilica in Venice, and wanted to participate without worrying about carrying or keeping track of my things.

Being hands-free for big activities like this always makes the experience more convenient and enjoyable.

On the other hand, I’m done bringing outfits I’ll only wear once.


Chloe smiles over her shoulder while posing on a bridge.

From now on, I’m prioritizing versatile clothing options.

Chloe Caldwell

Planning outfits for a trip is one of my favorite parts of travel prep. I love to dress on theme and get a snapshot of the moment.

However, on my last trip, I realized that packing items I’ll only wear once for a couple of hours just isn’t worth the hassle. For example, I packed a long red gown to wear just in case we went to a fancy dinner. And, yes, it did sit folded in my suitcase for two weeks.

Next time, I’ll bring more versatile items that I can mix and match for various occasions throughout the trip.

I also brought too many pairs of similar shoes.


A pair of white shoes dangles out of a plane.

I don’t know why I brought two pairs of white sneakers with me.

Chloe Caldwell

Don’t ask me why I packed two pairs of white sneakers. It seems silly now, but my logic was that one pair was for active outings and one was for more fashionable outfits.

However, this was unnecessary, and I could have just brought one pair and been fine. In fact, I’d avoid white shoes altogether in the future, as they can get dirty and matted on the cobblestone streets.




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Burned out in her 50s, she left corporate life. Starting over in Korea helped her heal.

by with No Comment Xpandfy

Jane Newman spent her evenings watching K-dramas on her recliner during the pandemic lockdowns. She didn’t expect they’d spark a curiosity about South Korea that would eventually lead her to move there and start over.

In 2023, Newman was working for a consulting firm in Brisbane, Australia. As a manager, her heavy workload didn’t let up even as the world began to return to normal.

After months of long hours spent in front of a screen, she was burned out and beginning to feel the strain.

“I started out with a whole lot of shoulder and back pain, and then it developed into arm pain, and I couldn’t use my mouse,” Newman, now 60, told Business Insider.


A woman posing in a red suit in South Korea,

Jane Newman said she burned out from her corporate job in Australia.



Greg Samborski.



Standing desks and different chairs fixed little, so she took a sabbatical.

Newman had first visited South Korea the previous year, curious about the country she’d only seen on TV. Remembering how much she had enjoyed that trip, she decided to return for a two-month break.

When she went back to work, the symptoms didn’t take long to resurface. This time, Newman found herself struggling mentally and emotionally, too.

“I found it more and more difficult to do my work,” she said. By July 2024, she and her employer agreed it was best for her to step away from the company.

“I knew that South Korea was a place that I loved, and it made me feel good,” Newman said. “So I made the decision to go back and stay for a few months to see how it felt.”

New career, new home

For three months, she lived in an Airbnb in Gwacheon, a city just outside Seoul. Newman lived with her host, a local woman who had invited her to participate in the community events.

There, she joined a group supporting former US military “comfort women,” as well as two English clubs where members met to discuss news, read English fiction together, and give weekly presentations on various topics.

“I met the most wonderful people, and they really invited me into their conversations. And I got to know a lot more about Korea itself, and its history,” she said.


A woman leaning against a tree in South Korea.

Newman says she found healing in a small community outside Seoul, where she learned more about South Korean history and culture.



Greg Samborski.



“All of those things made me feel really welcomed, and at home, and part of a community, which is what I was really lacking back in Australia,” Newman added.

In Brisbane, her social life largely revolved around people she knew at work, or old friends she’d kept in touch with from her years living in the UK when her daughters were young. She was part of a bushwalking community and a social dining community, but most of those groups faded after the pandemic.

As Newman considered her next career steps, she found herself drawn toward public speaking and coaching to help people navigate the pressures of modern society and technology.

That focus also eventually led her to begin developing a tech startup in South Korea aimed at helping young people struggling with social isolation.

By February 2025, Newman moved to Seoul to begin her next phase of life.

She said her Gen Z daughters weren’t surprised by her decision since they already knew how much she loved South Korea. Both had already taken trips to visit her there.

When it was time for Newman to look for an apartment, she wanted a place that was close to public transport, with separate spaces for living and sleeping, and a good view.

It took her about two weeks to find a place. She now lives in Dongdaemun, a popular neighborhood, where her two-bedroom apartment costs 1.43 million Korean won, or about $1,000, a month.


Skyline from Seoul City Wall at Dongdaemun.

Newman lives in Dongdaemun, a popular neighborhood in Seoul.



Jane Newman.



Building a new life from scratch

South Korea has become an increasingly popular choice for foreigners in recent years.

Data from the Ministry of Justice showed that the number of foreigners living in South Korea at the end of 2024 stood at 2.65 million, a 5.7% increase from the year before.

For Newman, building friendships in Seoul came more naturally than she expected.

“I’ve found that every time I’ve come to Korea, I’ve made new friends,” Newman said, adding that this included people she met through a fan group for a Korean actor she admired.


A photo of Cheonggyecheon stream in Seoul.

Newman says she makes it a point to get out of the house once a day to enjoy her surroundings.



Jane Newman.



These days, Newman’s routine is a mix of work and settling into life in Seoul.

She starts her mornings with a coffee from the Starbucks across the street before diving into her coaching sessions and working on getting her startup off the ground.

Compared to her previous job, where working 60 hours a week was common, Newman says she now works around 20 to 30 hours a week.

With the more flexible schedule, she has time to exercise, meet people, and sometimes work from libraries or cafés.

“But I do make sure I get out once a day to go out and enjoy this beautiful place I’m living in,” she said.

Do you have a story to share about relocating to a new city? Contact this reporter at agoh@businessinsider.com.




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I backpacked across Europe for 2 weeks. Here are the best things I packed and the items I wished I’d left at home.

by with No Comment Xpandfy

  • I traveled by train through four European countries for two weeks with just a backpack.
  • I packed light, but there were some items I could have skipped to save room for souvenirs. 
  • I was glad I brought a tote and quick-dry clothing, but I wish I had brought fewer pairs of socks.

Two weeks, six cities, four countries, and one backpack.

In 2022, I spent two weeks living out of a backpack while traveling from NYC to Europe by plane and train.

I flew from NYC to Berlin and traveled by train from Berlin to Vienna, Rome, Milan, Venice, Italy, and Zurich.

I explored cities in each country on foot, taking photos and notes along the way. I also stayed in a variety of accommodations, from train bunks to unique Airbnbs and luxury hotels.

Packing for this trip was hard for me. It was the lightest I’d ever packed for the longest trip I’d ever taken. However, after a few practice packs, I was surprised to find that I could fit everything I truly needed in a single 32-liter backpack.

For this trip, I used a 32-liter backpack, the largest one I own, to hold everything I needed for two weeks.

Everything the author packed for her two-week trip to Europe.

Joey Hadden/Business Insider

I packed my work computer, camera, and chargers; snacks, toiletries, and medications; one packing cube stuffed with clothing; and additional necessities, including a raincoat, a tote, and a pair of shower shoes.

While I longed for more outfit variety, I was glad I packed so little. I didn’t feel as weighed down by my backpack as I have on previous trips, so I had more energy throughout the day.

One of the most important things I packed was an all-in-one soap that cleans everything from clothes to bodies.


wet clothes hang on the side of a stand-alone tub

The author washed clothing in her accommodations.

Joey Hadden/Business Insider

When I pack light, I usually bring laundry sheets, which are small, dry, scented squares that resemble dryer sheets but are actually pads of laundry detergent that turn into a bubbly soap when mixed with water.

But I wanted to save more space on this trip, so I brought a 2-ounce bottle of Dr. Bronner’s Pure-Castille soap, which is an all-in-one soap that cleans everything from dishes to bodies. It also works as laundry soap.

I plan to travel with it from now on instead of laundry sheets and a separate container of body wash. 

Aside from Dr. Bronner’s soap, the most essential toiletries I made room for were my electric toothbrush and sea salt hairspray.


The author's packed toiletries on a white background

The author’s packed toiletries.

Joey Hadden/Business Insider

No matter how lightly I’m packing, I always make room for my electric toothbrush. Although I find it bulky, with a battery, charger, and case, maintaining my usual hygiene routine away from home makes me feel more comfortable while traveling.

Another necessity I packed was for my hair: the Sea Spray from Lush. I hate doing my hair. I like to just let it do what it wants, avoiding heat products and gels, but this hair product has my heart. Made from mostly natural ingredients, according to the Lush website, the spray adds texture and shine. I find that this product is easy for me to apply with just a few spritzes, and I think it always makes my hair look good with minimal effort. That’s why I never travel without it. 

I think I did a great job packing versatile clothing pieces that work well for travel.


The author stands smiling in front of a castle in Italy

The author wears versatile pieces in Italy.

Joey Hadden/Business Insider

I brought quick-dry shirts and pants made of thin, moisture-wicking materials, designed to dry quickly in the sun.

Most of my quick-drying clothes are from Under Armour or Prana and are good for exercise, but I thought they’d serve a dual purpose on this trip, considering my laundry strategy. I dried these articles on the balconies of hotel rooms and the porches of Airbnbs, and it never took longer than 20 minutes.

I was also satisfied with the versatility of the clothing I selected. With mostly neutral tones, like my gray T-shirt and navy sweater, as well as pops of color, every article I brought paired well with everything else.

I wore every combination of pieces to have as many different outfits as possible. While I still longed for more variety in my style abroad, I was impressed by how many outfits I was able to make with such a small selection. 

I was happy with the single pair of shoes I packed, which were black and gray sneakers.


The author wears her black sneakers in Milan

The author wears her black sneakers in Milan.

Joey Hadden/Business Insider

I find that shoes take up quite a bit of room in my backpack, so I try to travel with just one pair. I thought these black and gray New Balance sneakers were the perfect everyday shoes for this trip because they were comfortable enough to walk around in all day without hurting my feet. And with a neutral color scheme, I think they looked good with every outfit.

I found that my slides were crucial for showers throughout my trip.


Nike slides on a wooden shelf

The author brought slides for showering.

Joey Hadden/Business Insider

Besides my pair of sneakers, I also brought a pair of rubber slides to wear in the shower.

Unless I’m at a nice hotel, I prefer to wear shoes in the shower when I’m traveling. I can be a bit of a germaphobe, so having a layer of protection between my feet and the floor makes me feel at ease in places like the outdoor shower at my Airbnb in Switzerland or the tiny home hotel in Germany, where the toilet and shower shared the same floor. 

The weather on my trip ranged from 40 to 80 degrees Fahrenheit, so I was glad I brought a windbreaker.


The author wears her windbreaker in Switzerland.

The author wears her windbreaker in Switzerland.

Joey Hadden/Business Insider

My Members Only jacket is my go-to travel jacket in the fall, and I thought it was the perfect pick for this trip, as it’s comfortable in various temperatures. Since this jacket is a little big on me, I was able to fit long-sleeved layers underneath on cooler days. And it’s black, so I think it goes with everything.

It also has four pockets, one of which is hidden on the inside. I used that pocket to hold essentials, such as my phone, while walking around each city. 

I packed a rain jacket, too, which came in handy when it rained in Vienna and Switzerland.


The author stands smiling in a rain jacket with an airstream trailer behind her

The author wears a rain jacket in Vienna.

Joey Hadden/Business Insider

I checked the forecast during the week leading up to my trip and saw that some locations were expecting rain. I packed my smallest rain jacket so I could wear it alone on warmer rainy days and layer it underneath my windbreaker on cooler days. 

I caught the most rain of the trip during my second day in Vienna. Although it was pouring, I was able to walk around the city all day and stay relatively dry thanks to the jacket. When it cooled down at night, I wore my windbreaker over the rain jacket and felt cozy.

I also packed a tote bag in my backpack to separate some items for easier access during my travels, like my notebook and camera.


The author carries her tote bag in Rome.

The author carries her tote bag in Rome.

Joey Hadden/Business Insider

On travel days, I used a tote to separate and hold personal belongings I wanted quick access to, so I could stuff my backpack into the overhead bins of planes and trains.

This made it easy to quickly find items I needed, such as my headphones, while keeping my bulky backpack out of the way. By stowing my backpack on the shelf above me, I was able to maximize legroom, too.

On non-travel days, I left my backpack at my hotel or Airbnb and explored with a lighter load in the tote. The tote was large enough to fit all the essentials for a day out on the town, including my camera. 

Having an outlet adapter was essential for charging my devices.


A composite image of a European plug to US plug converter

European plug to US plug converter.

Joey Hadden/Business Insider

Different countries have different outlet ports, so my outlet adapter was one of the most important items in my backpack. One side has a European plug, and the other has a US outlet port. On the bottom, there are four USB ports.

I brought my iPad, phone, laptop, and camera on this trip, and I was able to charge all of them at once with this device.

To keep myself entertained during flights and train rides, I brought my iPad for reading, watching TV, and drawing.


The author watches TV on her iPad in the shared cabin.

The author watches TV on her iPad on an overnight train.

Joey Hadden/Business Insider

I bought several e-books on my iPad to read as much as I wanted during the trip, and to avoid bringing physical books that would take up too much space.

Before my trip, I downloaded some guidebooks for each country I visited. As I made my way to each destination, I read about the sights that awaited me. These books helped me decide how to spend my time in each location and built up my excitement for my coming adventures. 

During my trip, I downloaded a few episodes of my favorite TV shows to bring me comfort when I felt homesick, which was usually around bedtime. I also used my iPad to draw cover art for my band with the Procreate app, so I spent some time sketching designs for our coming singles. Watching TV and engaging in hobbies that I enjoy at home made me feel more grounded while traveling.

I packed my film camera and my digital camera. I was glad I made room for both.


The author's film camera (L) and a photo she took with it in Switzerland (R).

The author’s film camera (left) and a photo she took with it in Switzerland (right).

Joey Hadden/Business Insider

While I take photos digitally for work, I shoot and develop film as a hobby. For me, this includes manually loading film into a mechanical camera and taking my time with each shot before developing the negatives in my kitchen using a combination of chemicals. 

I hadn’t brought my film camera on previous work trips, but since Europe was my longest adventure yet, I packed my Minolta Autocord to help me find a work-life balance by taking film photos just for myself.

When I was in work mode, I shot digitally, and during my breaks, I took pictures with my film camera. This made me feel so much more creative during my trip, and I think I got some great photos. Although this camera is quite heavy for its size, I thought it was worth bringing to feel inspired and maintain an artistic mindset throughout my European adventure. 

Bringing snacks and meal bars helped me save money while traveling.


A hand holds a pack of goldfish in front of a tray table on a flight

The author recommends packing your own snacks for long trips.

Joey Hadden/Business Insider

Packing meal bars and snacks for travel days helped me save money I would have spent on munchies in airports and train stations. 

During my 8-hour flight from NYC to Berlin, I saved money on an in-flight meal by consuming an entire bag of Combos. On busy days spent exploring, I often had RX bars for breakfast or lunch to save money and keep me energized. 

However, I also think it’s important to try local cuisines while traveling to new places, so I maintained a balance of meal bars and dining out during my trip.

There were a few items I could have left behind to make my bag even lighter. For my next work trip, I’ll leave some camera gear at home.


A composite image of a digital camera and an extra lens and a hand holding three rolls of film

The author could have left some gear at home.

Joey Hadden/Business Insider

I brought way too much film for this trip. I packed eight rolls and only shot four of them due to some rainy days. I was also surprised by how easily I could buy film in Europe. If I’d needed more, I could have stopped at one of the many film stores I passed in Vienna and Berlin. In Vienna, I even spotted a film vending machine on the street.

Because I overestimated the number of film pictures I’d take, next time, especially if I’m traveling to Europe, I’ll bring half the film I think I’ll use.

I find that rolls of film feel bulky in my bag if I have too many, but my camera lenses feel even bulkier. I brought two lenses for my digital camera: a zoom lens and a fixed wide-angle lens. I think I could have just brought the zoom lens.

I brought a maxi dress for more formal settings, but found it wasn’t very versatile.


The author wears her dress in Rome.

The author wears a dress in Rome.

Joey Hadden/Business Insider

I brought a maxi dress for days when I wanted to dress formally. But apart from different jackets over top, my dress looked the same to me every time I wore it. And since it was so long, I thought it took up the amount of space in my packing cube that a pair of shorts and a couple more shirts could have taken.

Replacing the dress with a pair of nice shorts and some blouses would have provided me with more versatile outfits.

Since I spent two nights in most of the locations I visited, I had ample time to dry my socks after washing them, so I wish I’d brought fewer pairs.


The author's 11 pairs of socks she brought to Italy.

The author’s 10 pairs of socks she brought to Europe.

Joey Hadden/Business Insider

I brought 10 pairs of socks for my two-week trip since I’d had trouble drying my socks in just one night on previous trips, leaving me wishing I had packed more.

But since I booked two nights in most of the cities I visited in Europe, I found I had plenty of time to dry my socks. I probably could have done with six pairs to leave more room in my bag for small souvenirs. 

Packing so lightly allowed me to bring home some small souvenirs, like 3D puzzles and tiny sculptures. Next time, I’ll save even more space for treasures I find along the way.


3D puzzles and other small souvenirs the author picked up during her trip.

The author brought home a few souvenirs.

Joey Hadden/Business Insider

Apart from having less stuff to keep track of and less weight on my back, the best part of packing so lightly was saving room for trinkets to remind me of my trip.

In Vienna and Zurich, I bought tiny framed paintings of landscapes to display on my desk at home. In Venice, I purchased three 3D puzzles, which came in small, flat packs, to put together and display once I got home. I also picked up a few other flat items I like to collect that slid easily into my backpack, like bookmarks and a thin, paperback photo book. 

With so many reminders of my European adventure scattered around my apartment in NYC, I think having fewer belongings during my journey was worth gaining extra space to bring a piece of each place home with me. And next time, I’ll pack even lighter. 




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My husband and I left our jobs to travel full-time in our 30s. Transitioning back into the workforce has been hard.

by with No Comment Xpandfy

When one of my favorite graduate school professors died just weeks into her retirement, it hit me: I didn’t want to spend my life working toward a future I might never get to experience.

I started my career in education as a high school counselor. My husband, Sam, was a self-published author who could work from anywhere, so we took full advantage of my school holidays and long summer breaks, jetting off to new places whenever we could. We created a travel blog, ForgetSomeday, to share our stories.

But the trips we took during school breaks left me yearning for more, and I approached my husband about taking a year off from our careers to travel full-time.

It didn’t take much convincing. We didn’t own a home and hadn’t yet started a family, so the timing seemed right.

I submitted a request for a year of leave, but it was denied due to pending budget cuts. We decided to move forward with our plan anyway, not wanting to wait until retirement to make this dream a reality.


Man in a campervan in Scotland.

The couple’s adventures included a road trip through Scotland.

Provided by Toccara Best



Time for an adventure

Over the next year, we slashed our spending and saved more than $30,000 by cutting out anything nonessential.

We sold our car for $5,000 and brought in a bit more by selling smaller items, storing the rest in a 10×10 unit because we thought we’d be gone for just a year.

By June 2015, we had about $40,000 in the bank, walked away from our lease, and flew to Prague on one-way tickets.

We ate our way through Central and Eastern Europe and Southeast Asia, partaking in bucket-list festivities like Oktoberfest in Munich and St. Patrick’s Day in Dublin along the way.


Two women doing crafts in Mai Chau Village, Vietnam.

Best visited more than a dozen countries, including Vietnam (pictured).

Provided by Toccara Best



We visited more than a dozen countries — island-hopping in Croatia, Thailand, and Portugal; exploring Cambodia’s temples; soaking in Hungary’s thermal baths; and driving 500 miles through Scotland in a campervan.

From hiking in Austria and Slovakia to swimming with seals in Sweden, the year became a crash course in adventure travel.

As our official gap year came to an end, our bank account was still surprisingly healthy, thanks to housesitting opportunities and blog partnerships that helped stretch our budget. And because I didn’t have a job to go back to, we decided to keep traveling.

Little did we know, our biggest adventure was right around the corner: 6 months later, we found out we were expecting.


Pregnant woman posing in Iceland with snow in the background.

Iceland was Best’s final stop before returning to the US.

Provided by Toccara Best



And then we were three

We returned to the US to have our son, but just a few months after his birth, we began traveling full-time again, this time exploring America.

By his third birthday, my son had already visited 27 states. Eventually, the pandemic put a halt to our full-time travels, and we took that as a sign to settle down.

We returned to California five years after the adventure started.

When we planned our gap year, it was supposed to be just that, a year. But as time went on, the gap on my résumé grew, and my motivation to return to the career I once loved began to fade. My husband was also trying to figure out what he wanted to pursue next.


Small boy walking down a trail at Quinault Rain Forest, Olympic National Park, Washington.

The couple continued to travel around the US after having their son.

Provided by Toccara Best



Reentering the workforce

We didn’t realize that our global adventure would end with such a hurdle — a career pivot after five years away, right in the middle of a global pandemic.

Maybe it was the break we both needed to reevaluate our next steps, but it has taken us both quite a while to get back in the saddle.

Once our son started preschool, I transitioned back into the workforce as an executive personal assistant for a busy entrepreneur, putting my organizational skills to good use.

When the executive moved out of state just over a year later, I quickly found a new role as operations manager at a nonprofit organization, where I’ve worked part-time for nearly four years. I’ve been searching for meaningful full-time employment for the past year and a half, which has been especially challenging in today’s competitive job market.

Was our gap year impulsive? Not exactly. We spent a year saving and planning. Was it risky? Definitely. More so than we imagined. Would we do it all over again? Absolutely.

That said, if we were to do it again, we’d probably just stick to a year.

Do you have a story about taking a gap year that you want to share? Get in touch with the editor: akarplus@businessinsider.com.




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