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I gave my marriage a 2-day mental health break and explored a nearby city solo. It was just what I needed.

by with No Comment Xpandfy

Don’t get me wrong — I love my husband, and we’re great companions — at home and on the road. But I was thrilled when he decided not to join me on a trip to Querétaro, a city two hours from where we live part of the year in Mexico.

Barry was afraid it would be too hot. A Brit, he considers anything above 75 degrees a heat wave. And I was not-so-secretly thrilled to be on my own, even if it was only for 48 hours.

This was my chance to explore without worrying if anyone else was tired, annoyed, or hungry. This was my chance to do things my way.


The author and her husband at Canada de Virgen.

The author said she and her husband (shown at Canada de Virgen) have a lot of fun when they travel together. 

Courtesy of Louisa Rogers.



I was excited to explore on my own

Querétaro is one of several Mexican colonial highland cities known for its well-preserved 18th-century architecture and silver-mining history. It’s a UNESCO World Heritage site, with over 1,400 protected buildings, churches, plazas, and a historic aqueduct. Barry and I have been there several times, but always on the way to somewhere else.

The adventure started when I boarded a bus from Guanajuato to Querétaro. The long-distance buses, with reclining seats, wifi, audio, and video entertainment, feel like flying in business class. My hotel room was also spacious, with two classy balconies.

Since I paint watercolors, the first thing I did was visit the Querétaro Museum of Art, which showcased a series of vibrant acrylic paintings by a Yucatán artist. At another art gallery, I enjoyed an immersive exhibition of erotic sculptures, where visitors were invited to touch the art. I took photos and sent them to Barry, who was just as intrigued. Just because he wasn’t with me didn’t mean I didn’t want to share a few moments with him.


Outdoor Sculpture in Queretaro

While exploring Querétaro on her own, the author visited an art museum and enjoyed painting at restaurants after finishing her meals. 

Courtesy of Louisa Rogers.



Later that day, I strolled around, eventually finding a restaurant near a park with a pianist playing. The waiter recommended zucchini and walnut soup. Divine! After I was done eating, I whiled away an hour painting, with a glass of wine (well, two). Waiters never rush you in Mexico.

My husband wasn’t with me, but I still wanted to share things with him

The next morning, I took another bus, passing the railway maintenance crew working on the train that will eventually go from Mexico City through Querétaro and beyond. Then I explored a Toltec ruins on the outskirts of the city.

My Uber driver into town told me a long story about his other job, burying dead people, sharing many descriptive details about the smells. I told him I had once been attracted to working for a funeral home, but after hearing the visceral details of his job, I’m glad I decided to pass.

I probably would have had the same conversation with the driver if Barry had been there, but like other aspects of the trip, it felt very refreshing to chat on my own. This was another story I’d share with Barry as soon as I could.

When I’m traveling with my husband, I’m not always as focused and aware. For instance, he has a better sense of orientation than I do, so I let him lead. Since I was by myself in Querétaro, I couldn’t be passive; I had to pay attention, which was good for me.

I enjoyed the chance to linger

The best part of my two-day break was not a place, but the freedom of dawdling. For instance, on Sunday, I couldn’t find the restaurant where I’d eaten the day before, so I checked out others. The first three were no-gos: one was mainly meat, which I don’t eat; one was too noisy; and the last had the kind of high tables and chairs where my feet don’t reach the floor, and I feel like I’m in preschool.

When Barry’s ready to eat, he gets irritated checking out restaurants, so he usually sits on a bench while I decide. I often feel a whiff of anxiety knowing I’m keeping him waiting. This time, though, I took my time and finally found an Italian restaurant where I ordered ciabatta, once again laying out my supplies and painting when I was done.


Dancing in the Queretaro plaza.

The author said she enjoyed lingering in the streets of Querétaro, which gave her time to take in the sights. 

Courtesy of Louisa Rogers.



That evening, there was dancing to live music at one of the nearby plazas. I positioned myself near two women who turned out to be a mom and a daughter, and we chatted during the break.

On the bus going home, I kept daydreaming about all the different parts of my weekend escapade, puzzling over why it had taken me so long to go somewhere by myself. After all, Barry and I thrive on time apart, and, in fact, consider it one of the secrets to our long (52 years!) relationship. Every year, I fly to Mexico before him and return after him. Next year, I vowed, I’ll go to Zacatecas, another UNESCO World Heritage city in Mexico that I like more than Barry does — on my own. I can hardly wait.




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I rang in 2025 on a solo trip. Now, I’d happily celebrate every New Year’s Eve abroad and surrounded by strangers.

by with No Comment Xpandfy

As the crowd cheered among the explosive crackle of fireworks, upbeat dance music, and cries of “Feliz Ano Novo,” a surge of gratitude coursed through my body.

It was New Year’s Eve 2024, and I was hugging and cheering with new friends I had met just hours before.

Earlier that year, I’d spent two months gallivanting around London, Berlin, Amsterdam, Rome, Florence, and Prague solo. Although I loved returning home to San Francisco, it didn’t take long for my wanderlust to set in again.

I knew my thirst for adventure could only be quenched by revisiting Europe. I missed the walkable cities, the slower lifestyle, and the abundance of fresh food.

I decided I’d spend mid-December to mid-January abroad. After doing tons of research on the best cities for solo travelers, I settled upon Lisbon as my monthlong home base.

To avoid the holiday rush and the inevitable spike in prices and crowds, I left San Francisco on December 7 and made plans to head home about a week after New Year’s Day.

Lisbon was the perfect early holiday destination — and I got to connect with other solo travelers


The writer posing in front of a Lisbon landscape.

I connected with other solo travelers who became my companions for New Year’s Eve.

Chelsia Durkee



The first two weeks of my trip were a dream come true.

I loved spending my afternoons checking out bookstores (Livraria Bertrand is worth it), getting lost in the alleyways, taking in the vibrant art scene, and even trekking up a grueling hill to get to my local market.

Since I arrived early in the month before peak tourist season, I felt like I was experiencing Christmas markets and festivities alongside locals.

As December 31 approached, I began to crave some more companionship. So, I logged onto Facebook and searched for Girl Gone International’s Lisbon group.

An online community for women traveling solo, Girl Gone International had resources I’d utilized in the past. This was my first time scrolling through one of its Facebook groups in search of friends, though.

To my surprise, I stumbled upon tons of posts from other solo travelers, all hoping to find New Year’s companions. One in particular caught my attention: a post that said “I’m getting the girls together for a New Year’s celebration” with a link to a WhatsApp group.

She had a dog in her profile photo. What could go wrong?

That’s how I found myself eating steak and sipping Douro Valley wine at a table with eight strangers.

We all came from different countries and backgrounds: the Netherlands, Serbia, and South Africa, to name a few. We quickly bonded over our shared love of travel and the palpable energy of the night.

After dinner, a few other travelers from the Facebook group joined us. We squeezed our way into the crowds to the Praça do Comércio, the main square in Lisbon. The square was packed like sardines, and we held hands so we wouldn’t lose each other.

One of them held up a sign to make sure stragglers could see us. Amid the excitement, I witnessed the most spectacular fireworks display of my life.

My solo New Year’s celebration helped me connect with my values


The crowds celebrating the New Year in Lisbon.

Celebrating the New Year in Portugal was a once-in-a-lifetime experience.

Chelsia Durkee



After that epic night, the real magic of serendipitous connection took place.

I stayed in touch with two solo travelers and one local for the remainder of my trip. We met several other times to explore restaurants, visit parks, and even take a day trip to see castles in Sintra.

I believe that starting the year in a new country — and with new friends — softened my approach to achieving my goals. In the past, I felt pressured to set certain resolutions: Become fit, work harder, or be a certain way.

Instead of focusing on external validation or achieving rigid goals, though, I started the year with a focus on what actually brings me joy: adventure, global community, and authenticity.

I made new friends, too. Our short-lived connections empowered us to become vulnerable quickly, and I opened up in a refreshing way.

Ironically, it took leaving my country to remember that I am never truly alone.

Though this year’s New Year’s Eve will look a little different — I plan to spend the night locally with friends and family — I would happily ring in the New Year again with strangers in a foreign country.

No matter where I find myself in the world, I’m excited to continue bridging the gap between stranger and friend.




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A US pilot school has banned solo flights for trainees at one of the world’s top airlines after a spate of incidents

by with No Comment Xpandfy

An Arizona pilot school has stopped Cathay Pacific trainees from solo flights after several incidents that went unreported, Bloomberg first reported.

Cathay Pacific, the Hong Kong flag carrier, is one of the world’s best airlines — one of just 10 globally to be ranked five stars by Skytrax.

In an internal memo, the AeroGuard Flight Training Center in Phoenix said it saw “an alarming increase in solo incidents during cadet training,” per Bloomberg.

It added that the incidents involved a wingtip colliding with a fixed object, a “bounced landing” leading to a “substantial” propellor strike, and a complete runway excursion.

“While each situation was unique, in each case the concern was the same — required consultation did not occur,” the memo reportedly said.

Bloomberg also reported that the students didn’t properly report the damage in two of the three incidents.

In a statement shared with Business Insider, Cathay Pacific acknowledged the events and added, “We are taking them seriously.”

“These incidents involve our sponsored students, who will become our employees upon successful graduation from the training course,” it said.

“They will then need to undergo additional structured training before being assigned any flying duty.”

A source familiar with the situation told Bloomberg that the decision would affect around 150 of the 250 to 300 Cathay cadets training at the school.

The decision hinders Cathay’s ongoing plans to increase its number of pilots after the pandemic, when the airline instituted steep pay cuts.

Several pilots quit during that time, with some telling Reuters that strict COVID measures in Hong Kong were affecting their mental health.

In the statement, Cathay Pacific said, “Safety guides every decision we make, and we fully support the decision of the training school.”

“We will continue to prioritize the safety and well-being of our cadet pilots and crew members, and we remain dedicated to upholding the highest standards in our training programs,” it added.


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