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My son is studying abroad in Spain this year. I’m trying to let go, but it’s harder than I expected.

by with No Comment Xpandfy

In a few months, I will watch my 18-year-old kid walk away to start a life of his own in another country. I can already picture it: the way I’ll stand there a little longer than necessary, trying to hold onto a moment that’s already passing.

I know that later, I’ll return to our apartment and feel the quiet in a way I haven’t before. Not because it’s empty, but because something has shifted. A chapter that once defined my daily life will have closed, whether I’m ready for it or not.

Before my son leaves for his study abroad program in Spain this fall, we’re still moving through our routines. He’s asking me questions about living on his own. We still have this time to share meals, routines, and small daily conversations. But everything feels different now. I know it won’t last in the same way. I feel like I’m standing in a space that is both present and forward-looking at the same time.

I’ve started to realize that letting go isn’t something that happens the day your child leaves. It starts long before.

My role as his mother has changed

I’m already grieving a moment that hasn’t happened yet. Every form we fill out feels like a step toward goodbye.

He’s my oldest kid, and lately I find myself caught between who he is now and who he used to be. I think about his first steps, the early words, and the way he used to need me for everything. Back then, parenting felt physical. I was holding, guiding, and protecting him. Now, it feels internal.

This past year has already been full of change. We moved from New York to Portugal, a decision that reshaped our lives in ways I’m still processing. I left behind familiarity, stability, and everything we knew to build something new for us. That move required courage, trust, and letting go.

Now, just as I’ve adjusted to this new life, I’m preparing to let go again, this time of my son as he steps into his own.

I wonder if I’ve done everything I was supposed to do as his mom

Have I prepared him enough for the world? For independence? For the moments when I won’t be there to help?

Because that’s what scares me the most: not being by his side if something goes wrong, or not being able to step in quickly, fix it, and protect him.

Letting go isn’t a single moment; it’s a process. It means encouraging him to make his own decisions, even when I want to guide them. It’s teaching him how to manage his money and reminding him that he can’t eat takeout every night.

It’s watching him schedule his own doctor appointments, handle his responsibilities, and figure things out on his own. I have to step back when my instinct is to step in. That’s not easy.

There’s a constant tension between wanting to protect him and knowing that growth requires space.

This experience has created an internal shift in how I see parenting

For so long, being a good parent meant being present, involved, and attentive to every need. Now, I’m realizing it also means knowing when to step back and not holding on too tightly.

I have to trust that what I’ve taught him will carry forward, even when I’m not there.

I imagine the moments ahead, the ones we haven’t reached yet, like him standing in a new apartment in a different country, calling me to ask how to fix a recipe. Or asking questions I used to answer before he even had to ask.

I know I’ll answer the same way every time, with patience, with love, and with delight. Because no matter how far he goes, I want him to know this: He can always call home, and I will always pick up.




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I thought traveling with toddlers was impossible. Now we live in Spain for 2 months at a time — and it’s cheaper than Disney.

by with No Comment Xpandfy

When I was in junior high, I had a family history project. I didn’t know it then, but that project would spark a lifelong interest in my heritage.

In 2018, my wife (who is Cuban with Spanish ancestry) and I took a road trip through snow-capped Spanish mountains, meeting new family members that I never knew existed. When we met these relatives, we all grew close.

My wife and I then wanted to reconnect with our Spanish heritage in a whole new way. We decided that the best way to do so would be to travel to Spain for long stretches, with our toddlers.

For the past three years, we’ve spent two-month stints in Europe as a growing family.

At first, we thought long-term travel sounded impractical — and expensive

When my daughter was 2 years old, she had a 45-minute meltdown at the Miami International Airport. While we were resolving a ticketing issue for our baby boy, our daughter was throwing a loud tantrum. We endured many side-eyes from soon-to-be passengers (one of them snapped at us), and eventually, an airline employee frantically asked us to make it stop.

I thought we would never travel again, but the idea of an extended trip kept lingering in our minds.

On shorter trips, we pushed through and learned tricks that made travel easier, like using inflatable beds that rest on plane seats, small trinkets to play with, and plenty of snacks. With time, we knew we had a shot.


John Paul Hernandez's toddlers sitting on a wall in spain

The author’s toddlers love traveling in Spain.

Courtesy of John Paul Hernandez



We now stay in Spain for 2 months at a time

Thanks to the flexibility of freelancing and some practice in penny pinching, we learned we could travel to Spain for two months for about the cost of a typical family Disney trip.

A trip to Disney for a family of four can cost $6,000 to $10,000 a week. An extended trip to Spain, I quickly learned, ranged from $4,220 to $4,900 for an apartment in the central parts of major cities.

When we book an apartment for a month or two in Spain, for example, we get rates much lower than for a shorter trip because Airbnb offers discounts on longer stays.

To get the family to Europe, we collect airline miles from credit card offers and fly mostly for free.

While on the trip, we rely on public transportation and shift our stay from a “tourist” experience to living like a local to continue saving money.

This worked for our trips in 2023, 2024, and 2025.

We lived like locals in Spain

When we transitioned from visiting to living in Spain, we focused on the town we were in and the people around us. We didn’t eat out for every meal, but cooked traditional dishes with local ingredients.

Our neighbors became friends, and our kids played at parks with familiar faces. Eventually, these friends invited us to their homes, and we stayed in touch after our trips.

To explore the country, we focused on different regions. For example, in year one we stayed in the Comunidad Valenciana, then on other trips in the País Vasco and Andalucía.

Once we were in these regions, we focused mainly on our home base and explored the nearby cities on weekend trips.

Our kids have gained a lot so far

Our toddlers are now willing to try different foods without hesitation, no matter where we are. They understand and use words they normally wouldn’t hear at home in the US.

As they get older in school, some of the places and events they learn about will be personal because they’ve been there and touched the stones.

My son learned to walk in Spain and has had all of his birthdays there. Spain also became a base for exploring other countries thanks to cheap, short flights.

More families can do this than you’d think

Our experiences in Spain have inspired many of our friends and family. I’m helping a cousin and a neighbor plan similar trips with their children.

With budgeting and smart planning, it’s much more affordable than two-week vacations in many parts of the US.

I’m not sure how long we’ll be able to do extended stays like this, but I do know these memories will be ingrained in our family.

They’ve helped shape my kids’ lives (our third child is on the way), and they continue to inspire us even at home in the US — by cooking Spanish meals, enjoying the present through walks, and lingering over late-night, hourslong dinners.

John Paul Hernandez is a marketing writer for tech companies. He’s based in Florida’s Treasure Coast. Connect with him on LinkedIn.




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I moved from Spain to Florida 21 years ago. My first marriage fell apart, but I met the love of my life.

by with No Comment Xpandfy

Twenty-one years ago, I faced the difficult decision to move from Spain to the United States with my 3-year-old daughter and 4-month-old baby to follow my then-husband, who had lost his job, in pursuit of a new position in Florida.

I was being asked to leave behind my family, friends, and an established writing career. I was to start over at 41, with no connections, no guarantees, and an already shaky marriage.

My family thought it was a terrible idea, yet my husband’s family felt it was a great opportunity. So, after some soul-searching and many promises of a better life in Florida, I decided to uproot my kids and take the chance.

As I boarded the plane to meet my children’s father (he had come to the US ahead of us), I had mixed feelings: I could feel the excitement of my eldest to see her dad again, but I also feared the unknown. I kept asking myself whether it was really possible that we could fix our marriage and thrive in a different country.

My worst fear came true

Going from living in a penthouse in the old part of Sevilla, where I could walk to just about everywhere, to being cooped up in a tiny apartment in a gated community in suburban Florida, where I needed a car to go anywhere, was brutal to my nervous system.

I felt trapped in suburbia without my own car. And with a history of major depressive disorder, I started having panic attacks and depressive episodes. One day, while driving my children to find a preschool for my eldest, I had to pull over to sob.

A few months later, my husband lost the job we had moved to Florida for. And so began one of the most difficult periods of our lives.

In four years, we moved several times within Florida, always because of his new jobs. I found work freelancing for newspapers and magazines and wrote more books for publishers in Spain. But our relationship was always floundering.

As our marriage crumbled, we took a time-out under the same roof. We went to marriage counseling, enrolled in self-improvement seminars, and so on. Trust, respect, and admiration had been completely lost, and in 2008, when the Great Recession hit, we had no money, no savings, and no jobs.

I walked away from my husband with my laptop, my books, joint custody of our children, and the huge regret of having moved so far away from my family and friends. But I stayed in Florida, because I didn’t want my children to be far from their father. From one day to the next, I found myself a single mother on food stamps.

I met the love of my life

Nearly a year after separating, 16 years ago, I met the love of my life. We had many similarities: we were both newly single, bilingual and bicultural, and had children of a similar age. We were writers focused on creating a better life for our kids and ourselves. The best part was that neither of us had given up on love despite the tough times we’d lived through.


Family posing with kids

The author fell in love again in Florida.

Courtesy of the author



For nearly two years, we dated long-distance, spending only weekends and holidays together. One of us would drive two hours to meet the other, sometimes with the children, and when the kids were with our respective former spouses, we met alone.

We were both trying to rebuild ourselves personally and professionally, and together we made a great team. I once again moved for love, but this time with no regrets. Four years later, we married at sunset on the beach, surrounded by our children and close family.

Our kids are all in their 20s now, and we’ve been through the highest highs as well as some pretty rough times. But our relationship was never in question. We’ve cheered each other on and thrived together.

Whenever I think of past regrets and how I shouldn’t have moved to the US 21 years ago with my ex, I realize I would have missed out on finding true love. And I would never have built the stable and dependable family I always wanted.




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