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When I turned 40, my wife and I took a hard look at our lives in the US. Then, we moved our family to Spain.

by with No Comment Xpandfy

Turning 40 is a milestone that inevitably inspires introspection.

In the months leading up to my 40th birthday, my wife and I found ourselves at a personal and professional crossroads.

The price of day care in our Providence, Rhode Island, suburb would cost more than our mortgage, meaning we’d essentially have to work more to see our kids less. On top of rising grocery and utility prices, the math for us staying here didn’t add up.

After several spreadsheets, calculations, and tough conversations, we reconsidered what we really wanted for our family, our careers, and our lives. Ultimately, we decided this was the perfect time to do something adventurous: move abroad.

My wife suggested Alicante, Spain, as a potential landing spot. It’s a beautiful city on the Mediterranean where she studied in college. We both enjoyed subsequent visits and remembered the high quality of life and comparatively low cost of living.

Soon, the question “Why?” shifted to “Why not?”

So, instead of shopping for a new convertible, I shifted my perspective from a midlife crisis to a midlife opportunity, and shortly after my 40th birthday, we began packing for a new life in Spain.

We’re embracing a slower pace of life, even with its challenges


Family smiling on beach

We have so many beach days. 

Brian Hodge



We arrived in a small, coastal neighborhood of Alicante in early June. The area has a relaxed vibe with low-key cafés, playgrounds, and a fantastic, family-friendly beach — all alongside frequent trams and buses that take us up and down to charming villages within the Costa Blanca region.

In just a few months, we realized how much anxiety we’d been carrying.

In the US, it sometimes felt like children were simply tolerated. But here, they’re welcomed — and even celebrated — as part of life. Strangers here are quick to smile, lend a hand with a door, and give up their seats on the bus.


Two kids in front of ice cream vendor

The kids are suddenly fluent when ordering helado. 

Brian Hodge



Cafés, public squares, and playgrounds are routinely overrun with laughing and playing kids of all ages, often until late in the evening. Such sights felt much rarer back home.

My children have also begun attending a private, bilingual preschool at about half the cost of day care in the States, and their resiliency has impressed us at every turn.

During this time, my wife and I are taking advantage of the opportunity to pursue freelance and remote work, learn additional skills and languages, and gain new experiences.


Man holding child up to rings on monkey bars

The move has afforded lots of family time. 

Brian Hodge



Of course, it hasn’t been all siestas and sunsets. Although things have gone smoothly overall, there have been some challenges.

As expected, moving to a place without friends or family has not always been easy. We gave up our incredible support system to essentially start from scratch.

We’ve had to navigate the famously thorny Spanish bureaucracy, tapping deep into our reservoirs of patience — especially as we adjusted to our new, slower way of life.

Turns out, when they tell you “mañana,” it doesn’t always mean “mañana.”


Man on swing on beach

In Spain, our stress levels are lower. 

Brian Hodge



There have also been inherent challenges as we encounter the language barrier. Although my high-school Spanish has come back to me poco a poco, routine tasks like getting a library card or filling a prescription take on an added layer of complexity.

I don’t know if we’ll stay forever, but I know this was the right choice for now


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Public transportation makes daytrips to beautiful seaside villages like Villajoyosa possible. 

Brian Hodge



Ultimately, we recognize that the growing pains we’ve experienced, and the ones we’ve yet to face, are well worth this investment.

Just a few months into our three-year visa, it has already been a life-changing experience.

This move has given us the space to pause and reevaluate what truly makes us happy and how we define success. Looking back at my past self through the benefit of hindsight, I realize I was basing my definition of success on my professional status and even how others viewed me.

But now, watching my family blossom with new experiences and learning so much more about each other and the world around us, those status symbols seem trivial.

Although ours was a drastic move — you certainly don’t need to sell everything and live abroad to reclaim your life — you should think critically about how you want to spend it.

Mañana may not always mean mañana, but it is never promised.




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I thought traveling with toddlers was impossible. Now we live in Spain for 2 months at a time — and it’s cheaper than Disney.

by with No Comment Xpandfy

When I was in junior high, I had a family history project. I didn’t know it then, but that project would spark a lifelong interest in my heritage.

In 2018, my wife (who is Cuban with Spanish ancestry) and I took a road trip through snow-capped Spanish mountains, meeting new family members that I never knew existed. When we met these relatives, we all grew close.

My wife and I then wanted to reconnect with our Spanish heritage in a whole new way. We decided that the best way to do so would be to travel to Spain for long stretches, with our toddlers.

For the past three years, we’ve spent two-month stints in Europe as a growing family.

At first, we thought long-term travel sounded impractical — and expensive

When my daughter was 2 years old, she had a 45-minute meltdown at the Miami International Airport. While we were resolving a ticketing issue for our baby boy, our daughter was throwing a loud tantrum. We endured many side-eyes from soon-to-be passengers (one of them snapped at us), and eventually, an airline employee frantically asked us to make it stop.

I thought we would never travel again, but the idea of an extended trip kept lingering in our minds.

On shorter trips, we pushed through and learned tricks that made travel easier, like using inflatable beds that rest on plane seats, small trinkets to play with, and plenty of snacks. With time, we knew we had a shot.


John Paul Hernandez's toddlers sitting on a wall in spain

The author’s toddlers love traveling in Spain.

Courtesy of John Paul Hernandez



We now stay in Spain for 2 months at a time

Thanks to the flexibility of freelancing and some practice in penny pinching, we learned we could travel to Spain for two months for about the cost of a typical family Disney trip.

A trip to Disney for a family of four can cost $6,000 to $10,000 a week. An extended trip to Spain, I quickly learned, ranged from $4,220 to $4,900 for an apartment in the central parts of major cities.

When we book an apartment for a month or two in Spain, for example, we get rates much lower than for a shorter trip because Airbnb offers discounts on longer stays.

To get the family to Europe, we collect airline miles from credit card offers and fly mostly for free.

While on the trip, we rely on public transportation and shift our stay from a “tourist” experience to living like a local to continue saving money.

This worked for our trips in 2023, 2024, and 2025.

We lived like locals in Spain

When we transitioned from visiting to living in Spain, we focused on the town we were in and the people around us. We didn’t eat out for every meal, but cooked traditional dishes with local ingredients.

Our neighbors became friends, and our kids played at parks with familiar faces. Eventually, these friends invited us to their homes, and we stayed in touch after our trips.

To explore the country, we focused on different regions. For example, in year one we stayed in the Comunidad Valenciana, then on other trips in the País Vasco and Andalucía.

Once we were in these regions, we focused mainly on our home base and explored the nearby cities on weekend trips.

Our kids have gained a lot so far

Our toddlers are now willing to try different foods without hesitation, no matter where we are. They understand and use words they normally wouldn’t hear at home in the US.

As they get older in school, some of the places and events they learn about will be personal because they’ve been there and touched the stones.

My son learned to walk in Spain and has had all of his birthdays there. Spain also became a base for exploring other countries thanks to cheap, short flights.

More families can do this than you’d think

Our experiences in Spain have inspired many of our friends and family. I’m helping a cousin and a neighbor plan similar trips with their children.

With budgeting and smart planning, it’s much more affordable than two-week vacations in many parts of the US.

I’m not sure how long we’ll be able to do extended stays like this, but I do know these memories will be ingrained in our family.

They’ve helped shape my kids’ lives (our third child is on the way), and they continue to inspire us even at home in the US — by cooking Spanish meals, enjoying the present through walks, and lingering over late-night, hourslong dinners.

John Paul Hernandez is a marketing writer for tech companies. He’s based in Florida’s Treasure Coast. Connect with him on LinkedIn.




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I moved from Spain to Florida 21 years ago. My first marriage fell apart, but I met the love of my life.

by with No Comment Xpandfy

Twenty-one years ago, I faced the difficult decision to move from Spain to the United States with my 3-year-old daughter and 4-month-old baby to follow my then-husband, who had lost his job, in pursuit of a new position in Florida.

I was being asked to leave behind my family, friends, and an established writing career. I was to start over at 41, with no connections, no guarantees, and an already shaky marriage.

My family thought it was a terrible idea, yet my husband’s family felt it was a great opportunity. So, after some soul-searching and many promises of a better life in Florida, I decided to uproot my kids and take the chance.

As I boarded the plane to meet my children’s father (he had come to the US ahead of us), I had mixed feelings: I could feel the excitement of my eldest to see her dad again, but I also feared the unknown. I kept asking myself whether it was really possible that we could fix our marriage and thrive in a different country.

My worst fear came true

Going from living in a penthouse in the old part of Sevilla, where I could walk to just about everywhere, to being cooped up in a tiny apartment in a gated community in suburban Florida, where I needed a car to go anywhere, was brutal to my nervous system.

I felt trapped in suburbia without my own car. And with a history of major depressive disorder, I started having panic attacks and depressive episodes. One day, while driving my children to find a preschool for my eldest, I had to pull over to sob.

A few months later, my husband lost the job we had moved to Florida for. And so began one of the most difficult periods of our lives.

In four years, we moved several times within Florida, always because of his new jobs. I found work freelancing for newspapers and magazines and wrote more books for publishers in Spain. But our relationship was always floundering.

As our marriage crumbled, we took a time-out under the same roof. We went to marriage counseling, enrolled in self-improvement seminars, and so on. Trust, respect, and admiration had been completely lost, and in 2008, when the Great Recession hit, we had no money, no savings, and no jobs.

I walked away from my husband with my laptop, my books, joint custody of our children, and the huge regret of having moved so far away from my family and friends. But I stayed in Florida, because I didn’t want my children to be far from their father. From one day to the next, I found myself a single mother on food stamps.

I met the love of my life

Nearly a year after separating, 16 years ago, I met the love of my life. We had many similarities: we were both newly single, bilingual and bicultural, and had children of a similar age. We were writers focused on creating a better life for our kids and ourselves. The best part was that neither of us had given up on love despite the tough times we’d lived through.


Family posing with kids

The author fell in love again in Florida.

Courtesy of the author



For nearly two years, we dated long-distance, spending only weekends and holidays together. One of us would drive two hours to meet the other, sometimes with the children, and when the kids were with our respective former spouses, we met alone.

We were both trying to rebuild ourselves personally and professionally, and together we made a great team. I once again moved for love, but this time with no regrets. Four years later, we married at sunset on the beach, surrounded by our children and close family.

Our kids are all in their 20s now, and we’ve been through the highest highs as well as some pretty rough times. But our relationship was never in question. We’ve cheered each other on and thrived together.

Whenever I think of past regrets and how I shouldn’t have moved to the US 21 years ago with my ex, I realize I would have missed out on finding true love. And I would never have built the stable and dependable family I always wanted.




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