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I thought downsizing would be hard for our family of 4. It ended up changing our lives for the better.

by with No Comment Xpandfy

In July 2025, my husband, Zach, and I moved our family of four from the suburbs of Ft Worth, Texas, to Denver.

After nearly 10 years of marriage, two kids, and three work-related moves, it was finally time to settle in a place of our choosing. This time, we didn’t just want a change of scenery; we wanted a change of lifestyle.

But finding a house in the bustling city neighborhood of our dreams within our budget meant downsizing — drastically.

Moving from our 3,300-square-foot home to a 2,300-square-foot bungalow with 1,200 square feet of actual living space (the rest being unfinished basement) wasn’t easy. It meant swapping our large kitchen island for a small dining table. It meant no more master bath soaking tub, my refuge from life’s stresses on more occasions than I could count. And it meant my kids giving up their separate rooms to share one.

But what we’ve gained in the quality and quantity of time spent together is worth every bit of lost square footage.

We’re spending our time on what matters

Our bigger house in Texas required more upkeep, and we were more than happy to give that up for extra free time on the weekends. Now, we spend our time visiting attractions such as the Denver Zoo and the Denver Museum of Nature and Science. We’re fostering our kids’ curiosity, exploring new places together. Our everyday life feels more special and meaningful because these shared experiences amplify our family connection.


Dining room

The author’s new house is about a third the size of her previous house.

Courtesy of the author



We’re also getting out in nature more. Aside from weekend hiking and skiing adventures, our days revolve around outdoor living. We walk everywhere we can, including restaurants, parks, and even Trader Joe’s, which is beneficial because driving to Trader Joe’s means parking at Trader Joe’s, and nobody enjoys that. Our moods are lighter, and our stresses are reduced.

The first time we walked to a restaurant instead of driving, it felt like we were on vacation. Our lives had always been car-dependent, but that’s no longer the case. The kids laughed and raced each other down the sidewalk. We marvelled at the mature trees and brightly colored flowers lining 7th Avenue Parkway. There was no timeline or rushing, just the joy of being present. When we made our way home after an alfresco dinner at Postino, I asked my son if he liked walking to dinner. He asked simply, “Can we do this every day?”

We’re finding connections in our community

Zach and I frequently sit on our front porch while our boys play with neighborhood kids, a first for us. Having houses so close together makes it easier to meet people and form real connections. We know almost every household on our block, and we regularly visit with our closest neighbors. We even enjoyed our first block party in August, which fell on my eldest’s birthday, and according to him, it was his “Best birthday ever!”


Birthday party

The author’s child loved his backyard birthday party.

Courtesy of the author



Our boys run between yards while we chat with new friends. They are experiencing a childhood closer to the one we grew up with. They’re building confidence and finding their place, and that’s translating to more smiles and fewer tantrums. Zach and I are finding our village, and parenthood feels less solitary.

On a recent trip back to Texas for Thanksgiving, I texted our next-door neighbor to let her know we’d be out of town. Without even asking, she offered to take in our mail. It may be a small gesture, but that sense of community is priceless to us.

My boys have more freedom

Downsizing has also allowed our kids to play more independently in an outdoor space that feels safe and protected. We have an unobstructed line of sight to the backyard, and no matter where my husband and I are in the house, we can hear them if they need us. The result has been hours of creative play, building campsites and outdoor kitchens, playing soccer and baseball, and having water balloon fights or Nerf battles.


Family at football game

The author’s kids have more freedom and can play outside in their new home.

Courtesy of the author



Most evenings, my kids are in the backyard playing games and getting dirty. When the weather is nice, they run around with their friends down the street. I would never have felt comfortable not knowing every move my kids were making before, but here, where everyone is watching out, and I can wave at my kids down the block to signal when it’s time to come home, less space means more freedom.

Our downsized life isn’t always perfect. Despite all our decluttering efforts, we’re still left with more stuff than we can accommodate. We also struggle with the lack of privacy, and at times, our smaller shared space feels more claustrophobic than cozy. However, downsizing for an urban lifestyle has given us the opportunity to live beyond our four walls, and that’s worth more than any amount of space could ever be.




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I thought the best holidays were going to be when my kids were little. I was wrong.

by with No Comment Xpandfy

My daughter-in-law called me recently to ask about Secret Santa. She was wondering if everyone would get involved, if I had any thoughts on stocking stuffers, and if there was anything in particular I might want, other than the Costco-sized jar of peanut M&Ms I had mentioned about 1,000 times.

My youngest son texted not long after to let me know he got three full days off for Christmas. He’ll be bringing his cat for a visit. We’ll all buy him cat treats. We will prepare casseroles and cookies, as well as overnight cinnamon rolls for the morning. We will wait to watch the main event, the Christmas movies, until we are all together.

This is my Christmas with adult kids. The kind of Christmas I dreaded when my four sons were little and I thought I had just those magical 18 holidays with them before it would all end.

I thought the best times were when they were little

I thought those Christmases were the best I would ever see as a mom because I think that’s the story we are sold. Christmas is for kids. It’s better with kids. It’s more fun, more magical, more everything. And I’ll tell you that I really wrung every second of joy out of Christmas when my kids were little in an absolute panic of memory-making.


Four boys during the holidays

The author pushed herself to make the holidays super special for her sons when they were little.

Courtesy of the author



I pushed the Santa agenda far longer than was socially acceptable. I baked every day, built gingerbread houses, and attended every Christmas concert. I bought the matching pajamas, I collected special ornaments and kept them in boxes for the boys to hang on our tree every year, no matter what.

I think I idolized the holidays, like a good Christmas might make up for any other shortcomings during the rest of the year. I overlooked how tough it really was on me in favor of the good mom checkmark I might get at the end of it all.

I can finally admit it was hard

And it was hard on me. I can admit this finally. Not just because I was on my own with my sons or because we were living right around the poverty line. But because I genuinely believed that the only Christmases that mattered happened when my kids were little. It was like a Doomsday clock was ticking down on my every year, tied up with a neat red bow. I had to build memories for them at any cost so they would have happy childhood memories and not look back on our life together as a failure.

I wish I could go back and talk to the stressed-out mom I was then. I would tell her that she could stop spending important January bill money on December toys. I would tell her that her kids will be OK. And yes, they want a few toys, but they will remember about one quarter of them by the next year.

Most of all, I would tell her that she has way more fun holidays ahead than she thinks. I would even argue that Christmas with adult kids is better than it is with little kids. The pressure is off. Right or wrong, they are grown now. I don’t have to keep any kind of special magic alive for them; they’ve seen behind the curtain, and they know I was back there all along.

It’s not all just on me

They see me. They appreciate me. Best of all, they are back behind the curtain with me now, too. They provide, along with me, trips to the grocery store for forgotten spices, coffee cream, and extra napkins. They buy gifts and tell me not to worry about anything. They lighten my load. I’m no longer the keeper of Christmas; we all are. Bringing a different kind of magic to whatever days we might have together over the holidays.

We bring in the old traditions from when they were kids, but also leave the door open for new things. New recipes, new ideas on how to celebrate. Chinese takeout for Christmas Eve one year or homemade pizza, depending on everyone’s work schedule. A little Baileys in our coffee while we open stockings. All of us together. The five of us, along with new partners, are perhaps the best Christmas gift of all. New family members who bring their own family traditions. We stay up late, we play cards with fun playlists full of music that’s new to me. I sleep happily.

I miss my boys being little. I always will. But these men and their partners and our holidays together? This feels like the real reward.




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