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My grandparents are 87 and 90 years old. They still babysit my 7 kids, and host an annual cousin sleepover every year.

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This as-told-to essay is based on a conversation with Lauren Brusie, mom of seven. It has been edited for length and clarity.

Last year, my 87-year-old grandmother, Doris, and 90-year-old grandfather, Jerry, hosted nine of their 14 great-grandchildren for a Christmas sleepover at their house. It’s an annual tradition they started several years ago that involves a night of eating cookies and ice cream, kids playing, boys wrestling, and movie watching, all culminating in Doris and Jerry waking up bright and early the very next day to cook breakfast for everyone, smiling and chipper as ever.

As their 34-year-old granddaughter, I’m not sure how they have the energy they do.

They are the most joyful, generous, busy, and amazing people I know, and they have been a constant presence in my life. They were always there. For all six of us grandchildren, for every game, every school event, they were there. We spent our weekends with them, holidays with them, and summers at their cabin.

They’ve definitely helped shape my cousins and me, and they continue to maintain that loving presence and involvement with all their great-grandchildren, including my seven children.

My grandparents have been there for my kids since day one

Just like I can’t remember a day in my own life without my grandparents in it, neither do my kids. They were waiting outside the door for their first great-grandchild, my daughter, to be born, and they’ve been there for everything, just like they were for me.

We even lived next door to them for a few years, and we spent every day with them. They are two of the people my kids are most comfortable with, and because of that, they are often our first choice for babysitters on a quick errand. The kids just love to be with them.

We have since moved, but they still stop by at least once a week, call the kids, attend their sporting events, and even help me with running them to and from practice or school.

One of their most beloved traditions is taking out each great-grandchild for a birthday lunch/shopping trip to spend one-on-one time with them. They had a rule that the child needed to be 4 years old, but they have bent it twice now for two of my younger children, taking them on their third birthdays because they were just so excited about it.

Both of my grandparents are in great health, and while some of their longevity and energy is probably genetic, I think their overall joy and love of people has kept them going. They always have something going on with others, whether it’s hanging out with their camping club, golf leagues, bowling leagues, card nights, casino trips, or following us kids around. They’ve always just worked hard and enjoyed life.

They are the biggest blessing in our lives

I’m not sure how to put into words what our relationship with my grandparents means. I’m aware of how unique this is, and I’ve never taken a moment with them for granted. I don’t think my kids will understand it all until they’re older, so for now, I just try to take as many pictures as I can so they’ll know how truly blessed and loved they were by these amazing people.

As life has gotten busier and the kids have gotten older, we make it a priority to continue our relationship with my grandparents. For instance, we’ll stop in to visit, and we try to do malt nights on the weekends with them, just like I did as a kid.

I also try to make them my first call if I do need help with the kids. It gives them purpose, and it really does help me too!

I don’t know anyone who has great-grandparents so involved in their family’s lives

When I try to think of anyone who, like my kids, has not just their grandparents, but their great-grandparents so actively involved, it’s not even a close comparison. And it’s not just my kids — Doris and Jerry still travel all over the state to attend events and visit my cousins and their kids, too. I know my cousins feel the exact same way I do about our grandparents: they are the most incredible people we know, and we’re so lucky to have them.

I am not sure I even appreciated how amazing they were when I was a kid. It took me having my own kids to realize that the relationship I had with them wasn’t necessarily normal either. They are truly one of a kind.

There is so much that inspires me about my grandparents, like their joy and how they’ve dealt with all the ups and downs of life. And let’s be honest: I’d love to have their energy too, but I’ll never count on that!

My grandparents are also so humble about their involvement. Doris simply says that the reason they spend so much time with all of us is because they love us, so why wouldn’t they want to be with us?

Both of them attribute their energy and longevity to being “lucky” and hope that all their grandchildren and great-grandchildren will remember that they were good to them and loved them. I’d say mission accomplished!




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Goldie Hawn, 80, credits one thing with making her relationship with Kurt Russell last 42 years

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Goldie Hawn, 80, says there’s one reason her relationship with Kurt Russell has lasted more than four decades without marriage.

“Freedom. And I really feel this way, and I always have. And even if we did get married, it wouldn’t make any difference because it’s 42 years now,” Hawn told host Dan Buettner on Thursday’s episode of “The Dan Buettner Podcast.”

Hawn likened the experience to being a bird in a cage.

“If I’m a bird and you leave the cage door open, I may never fly out. But if you close that door, for my freedom and my independence, I would probably take, like, all my feathers off,” Hawn said. “It’s a freedom of self, it’s a freedom of basically, not melding into somebody else.”

Hawn and her partner, Russell, met for the first time in 1966 and reconnected in 1983 after being cast in the romance drama “Swing Shift.” They started dating shortly after, and welcomed one son, Wyatt Russell, together in 1986.

Their blended family includes Russell’s son, Boston, from his marriage to Season Hubley, and Hawn’s children, Oliver and Kate Hudson, from her previous relationship with Bill Hudson.

Hawn, who has been married twice before, said she’s learned that traditional ideas of partnership don’t work for her.

“But, man, this whole idea of becoming one is not my idea of fun. That’s why it works,” she said.

Hawn said she and Russell share a strong bond, and accept that there will be parts of each other they don’t love. But she doesn’t see those imperfections as a good enough reason to walk away from the relationship.

“Why is that a reason to break up? Why is that a reason to say this isn’t working?” Hawn said.

“You might not like it, but is that a reason to suddenly decide that this isn’t working for me?” she continued.

When Buettner asked why she keeps choosing Russell, Hawn listed several reasons.

“Because I have respect for him. Because I think he’s an amazing person. I’m also very sexually attracted to him, and that’s important,” Hawn said, adding that he’s smart and makes her laugh.

She also praised his talent and appearance.

“He’s such a great actor, and I find him incredibly handsome to this day,” she said.

Hawn added that they’re “an unbelievably happy family most of the time,” despite their own individual flaws.

“Why would I want anybody who is perfect? There is no such thing,” she said.

Hawn has long spoken about what she believes makes her relationship with Russell last. In 2024, she told E! News that “good sex” is a key part of it.

“Because sex is something that connects you and creates more belonging. People who have healthy sexual relationships usually last a lot longer. But it’s not just because of the act, it’s because of the warmth and the intimacy that it creates,” she said.

Russell has also shared his perspective on their decision not to marry.

“At that time, we constantly got asked, ‘When are you going to get married? Why aren’t you married?’ And we were like, ‘Why does anybody care about that?’ We’d asked our kids if they cared about it. They didn’t. We didn’t,” Russell told Variety in a 2023 interview.

Other celebrities have also shared their own tips for making relationships last.

In 2024, Bette Midler told Entertainment Tonight that sleeping in separate bedrooms is the reason her marriage has lasted over 40 years.

“My husband snores,” Midler said.

In 2025, Food Network star Ina Garten said her almost 60-year marriage works because they make decisions together.

“And this is what Jeffrey taught me: Let’s figure out how we can both do what we want to do. It’s not about whether we get to do what you want to do or I want to do,” Garten said, referring to her husband, Jeffrey Garten.




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I spent years traveling nonstop. It took me too long to admit my ‘dream life’ was actually horrible for my health.

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I was living the dream — flying internationally nearly once a month for my work as a travel writer, crisscrossing the globe to cover incredible destinations.

Invitations like cruising the Norwegian coastline and then jetting off to a buzzy restaurant opening in Las Vegas were too good to refuse, even if they were happening back-to-back.

Meanwhile, the frequent long-haul flights, indulgent meals, packed itineraries, and erratic sleep schedules were quietly taking a toll on my health — I was gaining a substantial amount of weight and frequently feeling exhausted.

I just told myself that less-than-stellar health was just the price of admission for this sort of career. After all, my job consisted of bucket-list-worthy experiences, like hiking in Peru and going on safari in Kenya!

It took me several years to admit to myself that I couldn’t keep living this way.

As much as I love traveling, doing it nonstop wasn’t great for my physical or mental health


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I love traveling, but it can be exhausting.

Meredith Bethune



In reality, the job of my dreams consisted of overnight flights where I’d get little to no rest, then hit the ground running as soon as I arrived at my destinations.

After I’d fly back home from some trips, it would take me nearly a week to recover from jet lag. My stress levels were often cranked up, dealing with flight delays, deadlines, and navigation across different states and countries.

With grueling daily schedules on the road, I rarely had time to answer emails. I’d come home to a full inbox and even fuller calendar.

The regular exposure to dry air on planes wasn’t helping my immune system, and neither was all the stress. I felt like I was constantly getting sick with colds, flus, or whatever was going around.

Meanwhile, my diet wasn’t balanced or nutritious. It largely consisted of indulgent meals on press trips, where I felt pressure to try everything so I could write about it.

Saying no felt awkward, even when I knew I’d feel better if I could set firmer boundaries.


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I’ve been able to see many places through my work as a travel writer.

Meredith Bethune



On top of all that, I wasn’t exercising. After all, press trips run on tight schedules. I’d return to the hotel late, wake up early, sit in a van for hours between stops, and finish the day with a multicourse dinner.

Some fellow writers managed to fit in workouts, but I didn’t. It wasn’t a priority for me then.

All the travel felt isolating at times, too. I was spending most of my days with publicists, fellow writers, and guides. They were all lovely people, but not permanent fixtures in my life.

My closest friends lived far away, and I kept postponing visits because I was always either traveling or catching up from being away.

Meanwhile, my parents were getting older and needed more support.

After nearly a decade of jet-setting, by 2019, it had become undeniable that my mother’s memory problems went beyond normal aging. Finally, I felt compelled to take my health seriously.

My mother’s diagnosis felt like a wake-up call to prioritize my well-being


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Eventually, I realized I couldn’t travel so much without facing some consequences for my own health.

Meredith Bethune



By that time, my mother’s cognitive difficulties had progressed so much that she no longer seemed like herself. And though her official Alzheimer’s diagnosis came later, by then, it was just a formality. We had already known for years.

There wasn’t anything I could do to stop my mom’s Alzheimer’s from progressing, but I threw myself into researching the disease so I could know more about what the future held for her and, eventually, me.

I worried whether a similar diagnosis — one millions of Americans share — could be in the cards for me someday.

Though it’s not preventable, some studies and members of the medical community suggest that certain lifestyle changes, like being physically active and managing blood sugar and blood pressure levels, may lower one’s risk of developing some forms of the disease or delay its symptoms.

Even if I couldn’t prevent a future diagnosis, I knew finally taking care of my body and mind would be good for me. All that nonstop travel had been quietly wrecking my health, and the way I’d been living and working wasn’t sustainable.

I feel much better now that I’m traveling way less


Woman hiking grand canyon

I can’t control the future, but I can at least prioritize my health.

Meredith Bethune



It’s been over five years since I significantly cut back on travel.

I exercise almost every day and try to regularly follow a balanced diet. I’ve since lost over 50 pounds and sleep much better.

When I do go on trips, I do so with more intention and a lot of focus on the Northeast, close to home.

I probably take an overnight or weekend trip within driving distance about every six weeks. I still fly for work once or twice a year, but I’m no longer constantly on the road, and my body feels the difference.

When I go on bigger trips, I actually feel like I have more opportunities than I did before. Recently, I even hiked the Grand Canyon rim-to-rim, which I would never have attempted back when I was out of shape and constantly feeling drained.

Giving up on my dream job wasn’t easy, but I want to feel good and stay in great shape for as long as I can — even if that means finding peace at home instead of abroad.




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I moved back home after living abroad for 12 years. I worried it would be a step backward for my daughter and me.

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After 12 years living abroad in Berlin and then Madrid, I never imagined returning home to Ireland. However, a breakup, becoming a single parent to a young teen, and growing concerns about my father’s health made moving back home something I had to consider.

The decision wasn’t easy. I worried about uprooting my daughter from the life we’d built in Madrid and returning to a country I’d once been so desperate to leave. Growing up in Dublin in the 1980s, a time marked by unemployment, diminishing women’s rights, and a deeply conservative church and state, greatly prompted my desire to live elsewhere. The following decades of living on and off in London, France, Germany, and Spain only reinforced that there was a greater world outside my home country.

Sure, there was no denying that Ireland had changed a lot since the ’80s. But there were still elements of the small-town mindset I despised.

Would my daughter resent me later for taking her away from a life in a more progressive and larger European city?

Moving back home was a difficult decision to make

Like many Western countries, Ireland’s housing crisis was at its peak. Moving back would likely mean temporarily living in my childhood home with my older parents — and that certainly felt like a step backward.

Still, in other ways, it felt right. My daughter, an only child, saw her extended family only a few times a year, and I believed being closer to them would help her through her parents’ breakup and those often-difficult teenage years.


Siobhan Colgan drinking outside in madrid

The author loved living abroad.

Courtesy of Siobhan Colgan



Plus, my father, now in his late 80s, had spent much of the year in and out of the hospital. After months of flying back and forth from Madrid to support him and my mother, staying abroad no longer felt realistic.

So I made the decision I never thought I’d make, and we moved back.

The move home surprisingly benefited all of us

Within a month of our return, my father was discharged from the nursing home he had been sent to after a six-month hospital stay. Being there to deal with doctors and carers, support my mother, and share the load with nearby relatives made me feel really grateful. I had always been close to my dad, but now that I was physically around, our bond deepened even more.

My daughter, too, began to thrive. She began building real relationships with aunts, uncles, cousins, and her grandparents. After becoming withdrawn during our final year in Madrid, I now saw her going out shopping with my mom or sitting laughing with my dad; she was slowly opening up again.

Then, four months after coming back, my father died suddenly after a short infection. It was devastating for everyone. But among the grief and tough emotions, I couldn’t deny feeling so thankful that my daughter and I spent those last few months with him.

Additionally, for all my misgivings about “small-town Ireland,” I got to see another side of living in a small community: friends, neighbours, and even locals who just knew them in passing rallied round my mother.

It was the best decision I never wanted to make

It’s still hard to accept my dad is gone, but, of course, life has continued. We now have our own home, a short walk from my mom, and my daughter loves her local school and the friends she’s made.

I still miss parts of our life abroad — my friends, the relaxing outdoor café culture, and reliable public transport. However, I’m building a stable life for my daughter, with deeper ties to family and community.

I will say that when it comes to big life choices, such as moving abroad or moving home, you can only make the decision that feels right to you in the moment. It’s rarely easy, but I’m relieved and glad that I made the choice I did.




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A US Marine veteran who trained with Ukrainians 20 years ago says he already could see the key to their success today

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This as-told-to essay is based on a conversation with Troy Smothers, a US Marine veteran sergeant who now runs American Made Freedom, a nonprofit that assists Ukrainian troops with fiber-optic drones. Business Insider verified his military records and deployment to Ukraine with the Department of Defense.

The following has been edited for clarity and brevity.

I was a standard infantry corporal in the Marines when I was sent to Odesa, Ukraine, in 2005.

There were perhaps 100 of us, and our clear role was to teach infantry tactics, such as leap and bound alternating movements, sectors of fire, and calling for artillery fire.

This was NATO doctrine. Because 20 years ago, the Ukrainians were indoctrinated by Soviet tactics that just throw people at their enemy like human meat waves.

The roles are somewhat reversed now. Now the West is trying to learn how Ukrainians are fighting, and how they’ve turned what little they had into formidable weapons.

Even two decades ago, I noticed the same mindset among them that’s been the key to Ukraine’s strength today.

I was only in Ukraine for about three weeks in 2005, but my time training with the soldiers there left a similar impression on me.

We knew that Ukraine’s military budget was, let’s just say, underfunded. Everything they had was Soviet-era equipment comparable to the stuff that the US had decommissioned 20 years earlier.

We asked ourselves what we were doing sitting in their old Russian-made helicopters.

Helicopters commonly leak hydraulic fluid. However, when we boarded the helicopters in Ukraine, there were puddles of fluid in the cracks on the floor of the aircraft.

Definitely, nobody smoked near those things.

Most of the Ukrainians’ equipment was old, but it was a testimony to how they worked with what they had.

‘We’ll make it work’

Since the full-scale war started in 2022, I’ve been traveling to Ukraine for months at a time, showing new fiber optic spools to drone manufacturers so they can build and improve unjammable drones. We’re testing out designs that are used on the battlefield today.

You see that same “this is all that we have, so we’ll make it work” determination in Ukraine now. The Ukrainians are getting some great kit from Europe and the US, but it clearly still isn’t enough to win.

Out of necessity, they took toy hobby drones and turned them into cutting-edge military equipment.

We don’t fight that way in the US. If something breaks, we typically order a replacement part or return it.

In Ukraine, they open up the part and repair it. Salaries there are much lower, so their people are more used to repairing electronics or appliances on their own. If a mobile phone breaks, they’ll open it up and start soldering.

Because of this, they had a greater army of people who were electronically knowledgeable, enabling them to bring in an immediate solution in the war.

That isn’t culturally ingrained in the American military or our people. Of course, we would adapt in the same situation, but could we have done it as quickly as the Ukrainians did, transforming toys and parts bought from China’s Alibaba into something that the entire world is now watching today?

Here’s an example of their DIY ingenuity. The Ukrainians have a contraption nicknamed a “mustache” on their first-person-view drones, which is essentially two rigid copper wires protruding in front.

When the drone flies into its target, these wires touch and send a signal to the blasting cap — like turning on a light switch — in the attached explosive to trigger the detonation. The mustache’s safety device is a simple, 3D-printed pin that gets pulled out when you launch the drone.

I’ve bought and used dozens of these while developing fiber-optic drones, and one mustache costs just $12 to $15. In the US, to get a similar piece of equipment, you’d spend $400 to $500, even at scale.

Most of these Ukrainians were just regular people living their lives until they were forced by the invasion to start killing Russians. But if anything, they’ve had an incredible advantage in finding solutions, sometimes because their uncle or friend might have run a repair or electronics business.

We were down there 20 years ago to bring the Ukrainians up to NATO standards. Today, I can see how much they can teach us about innovation. It’s humbling.




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They quit, traveled, and rethought their lives — meet the adults taking gap years

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In my early 30s, I was working long hours as the editor in chief of a magazine, juggling deadlines and the looming “should we have kids?” question — all while feeling completely wrung out. I drafted a resignation email.

When my boss called me in, she surprised me: “Take some time off,” she said. “Come back to manage a new launch later this year.”

My plan for a year off collapsed into two months.

It began quietly in India at a yoga retreat near Kerala and ended with an adventure in Indonesia, climbing Mount Bromo and motorbiking through Yogyakarta.

It wasn’t a true gap year, but it was long enough to reset. The next year, I stepped into my boss’s role, leading the creative team I’d almost left behind.

That experience made me realize that time off doesn’t have to derail a career — it can redefine it.

I wasn’t a student with few obligations or a 20-something who hadn’t settled on a career path. I was an established professional stepping away when the stakes were high.

Extended time off can carry long-term costs — lower earnings, disrupted savings, slower compounding — but for some, the benefits outweigh the risks.

David Burkus, an organizational psychologist and author, began researching sabbaticals in 2015.

“People report better mental and physical health, increased confidence, and a greater sense of purpose after an extended break,” Burkus told Business Insider.

He also notes the benefits for employers: Teams cross-train, share knowledge, and become less dependent on a few “indispensable” people.

Paid sabbaticals are still a rarity in the US. Society for Human Resource Management data showed that 5% of companies offered them in 2019, rising to 7% by 2023.

And despite employers not rolling them out broadly, employees are increasingly seeking time off. In SHRM’s 2025 benefits survey, leave was the second-highest priority for workers — trailing only health benefits — for the fourth year in a row.

A peer-reviewed study published in the Academy of Management in 2022 interviewed 50 professionals who had taken extended time off. All interviewees said they came back as better leaders.

DJ DiDonna, a senior lecturer at Harvard Business School and coauthor of the study, says everyone he interviewed wished they had taken one earlier.

DiDonna told Business Insider that the best times for a sabbatical often coincide with natural life transitions, like a honeymoon, a newly empty nest, or the “twilight career” stage before retirement.

This collection brings together people who took that pause at different ages, for different reasons, and for vastly different lengths of time.

If you’ve taken an adult gap year yourself, I’d love to hear from you at akarplus@businessinsider.com.




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An OpenAI researcher turned venture capitalist says investors are 3 to 5 years behind the latest AI studies

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There is a yearslong lag in the AI hype cycle, according to one former AI researcher turned venture capitalist.

Jenny Xiao, who cofounded Leonis Capital in 2021 after a stint at OpenAI, said the current investment excitement around AI is far behind the actual research.

“There is a massive disconnect between what researchers are seeing and what investors are seeing,” Xiao said on the Fortune Magazine podcast this week.

What’s being discussed at the biggest AI conferences is as much as 3 to 5 years behind what researchers are thinking about, Xiao said.

“We are so behind the technical frontier, and that’s the gap I really want to bridge,” she added.

Xiao, who dropped out of a Ph.D. program in economics and AI to take a researcher role at OpenAI, founded Leonis Capital to bridge the worlds of venture capital and deep academic AI research.

“With AI, there needs to be a new generation of founders. There needs to be a new generation of VCs,” she said.

It’s also the first time investors need to be able to provide financial support to both the market and the technology, she added. Unlike SaaS companies, which were built on a “stable tech stack,” AI is moving fast. To keep up, Xiao said investors are going to need to be as technical as the founders.

If she has one piece of advice for investors who haven’t gone deep into the technical side, it’s that they should know “AI progress isn’t linear,” she said.

They should know AI progress happens in “lumps,” she said. So, questions about why AI progress is slowing down or speeding up aren’t the best way to characterize the rate of development.

“It’s neither of those two extremes,” she said. “It’s somewhere in between.”

Leonis Capital did not immediately respond to a request for comment from Business Insider.




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Living abroad for 28 years gave me everything I wanted — and a quiet guilt I still carry

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I grew up on the shores of Lake Erie, in a town just south of Buffalo, New York. Ice was something we chiseled off a car in winter, not something that’s dropped into a drink. For me, life on a tropical island was a pipe dream.

In high school, I was the geeky kid, always excited to read stories in Time and The New York Times about exotic, far-off places. I knew early on that I wanted a job that would allow me to experience global events firsthand.

A semester abroad in France cemented my ambition. I lived with a family who also rented to an American expat. He talked casually about his Swiss ski holidays, escapes to Greece and Turkey, and his favorite cafés in Paris.

I already knew then, at 21, that was the life I wanted. Why work in “boring” New York or Chicago when I could aim for Paris, Hong Kong, or London?

After working as an editor in New York City for several years, my then-wife got offered a job in Singapore. It was the golden opportunity we both wanted. What we thought would be a posting of just a few years turned into decades. We divorced in 2011, but both stayed in Singapore, building our careers and lives.


Kris LeBoutillier on assignment 25 years ago in Vietnam, posing with a group of locals near the Ho Chi Minh Mausoleum in Hanoi.

LeBoutillier, 25 years ago in Vietnam, posing with a group of locals near the Ho Chi Minh Mausoleum in Hanoi.

Provided by Kris LeBoutillier



Singapore was the jolt my career needed

I’d always wanted to be a photojournalist, so in 2000 I decided to pursue it full-time. My location made me a standout. Asia was entering a travel boom, and magazine editors needed photographers on the ground. To paraphrase the cliché: I was in the right place at the perfect moment.

I’ve shot for National Geographic Traveler across Australia, Vietnam, Cambodia, Thailand, and India — Singapore was the perfect base. I could be ready to go anywhere in Southeast Asia with just a few hours’ notice.

My photography career eventually gave way to something more permanent and corporate, although still rooted in Singapore. I became a content director, producing and directing videos across the region.

It was a natural evolution for a writer-photographer in a world rapidly shifting to digital content.


Kris LeBoutillier posing with a camera in Rajasthan, India.

LeBoutillier traveled to Australia, Vietnam, Cambodia, Thailand, and India (pictured) on assignment.

Provided by Kris LeBoutillier



Living overseas for 28 years changed me

But it has come with a cost. My mother grew older, got sick, moved into a managed care facility, and then passed away suddenly.

I made every effort to visit twice a year, especially in the summer and around Christmas. But there was always a tinge of guilt and remorse that I wasn’t there more.

On one of my last trips back before she died, I remember her saying, “Haven’t you been in Singapore long enough?” She was always supportive of my choices, but as she approached 80, and her health declined, she wanted me closer to home.

She was getting the care she needed in the nursing home, but there was no substitute for a visit from me, my presence — complete with stories about my life overseas.

Was I selfish? Perhaps, but I also would never trade the life I have.


Kris LeBoutillier and his wife are posing near a sunset in Singapore.

LeBoutillier and his wife, Jamie, are raising their family in Singapore.

Provided by Kris LeBoutillier



Will I return to the US?

Probably, although I’m not sure, because everything is different. I remarried three years ago. I have a 9-year-old daughter from a previous marriage and a toddler son with my wife, Jamie. Both kids have US passports and deserve an American identity and a place to put down roots. They’ve been to the US to meet their cousins and my oldest friends, but have never had the chance to live there or fully experience life as Americans.

Recently, I told my daughter that she’d visited Manhattan when she was a toddler. Her response: “Where is that?” It was a stark realization.

They should know the country that shaped who I am.

Would I recommend an expat life to someone? Absolutely. I got the life I dreamed of. And despite the challenges and distance, it gave me everything I hoped for when I was that kid, growing up near Buffalo, reading about the rest of the world.

Do you have a story to share about living abroad? Contact the editor at akarplus@businessinsider.com.




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I’ve lived in Switzerland for 5 years. Here are the 6 biggest mistakes I see first-time visitors make over and over.

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  • After living in Switzerland for five years, I’ve watched tourists make a lot of the same mistakes.
  • Don’t try to see too many places in one trip, and try visiting some smaller mountain villages.
  • Become at least a little familiar with the local languages and book your train tickets in advance.

Though I’m a US citizen, I’ve spent the past five years living in Switzerland.

As a semi-recent transplant, I know there’s much more to this amazing country than what visitors typically come to see. It’s one best experienced thoughtfully and authentically — not by mindlessly racing through “Top 10 ” lists.

In terms of mistakes tourists make, here are a few things I suggest you know — and avoid — before visiting Switzerland for the first time.

You’ll probably regret only visiting the Instagram-popularized spots.

Lucerne is incredible, but it’s not the only great place to visit in Switzerland.

Peter Shaw/Getty Images

Zermatt, Lauterbrunnen, Interlaken, and Lucerne are popular, jaw-dropping locations, but they’re not the only spots worth visiting in Switzerland.

Instead of only seeing the few places on every tourist’s list, consider branching out to smaller, lesser-visited ones for at least a day trip. Fortunately, many are easily accessible by public transportation out of some of the area’s main hubs.

For example, close to Interlaken are the mountain villages of Frutigen, Kandersteg, and Adelboden, which offer gorgeous alpine views combined with fewer crowds and more authentic experiences.

Don’t assume the dining-out culture and prices will be what you’re used to back home.


Vegetables on plate

Eating out in Switzerland can be expensive, but I’ve found the prices to be justified.

Ashley Franzen

In Switzerland, dining out can seem expensive — in part because the cost of production, labor, and relevant service charges are typically already included in the price of the meal.

Personally, I find the prices easier to stomach when I remember you’re often paying for high-quality, regional fare, and restaurant staff here are typically earning a fair wage.

And although tipping servers 15% to 20% of a bill is standard practice in places like the US, it’s not the norm here. If you enjoyed the meal and the service, it’s customary to round up a few francs or leave a tip between 5% and 10%.

Make your train reservations in advance.


Train tour sign in Switzerland

Not making reservations in advance could mean missing out on some special experiences.

Ashley Franzen

Switzerland is a popular travel destination throughout the year, and its major attractions can fill up quickly — especially seats on our world-famous scenic routes.

If you plan on riding the Glacier Express or Bernina Express, book your train tickets as far in advance as possible.

However, don’t fret if you realize it’s too late to book a seat on a scenic route. You’ll be just fine on our “regular” trains, which tend to run faster, not book up as quickly, and still offer beautiful views.

Speaking of trains, don’t get fined for sitting in the wrong class.


First-class train car in Switzerland

Make sure you follow your ticket.

Ashley Franzen

When traveling by train, it’s important to double-check your ticket class and location. (And, if you have a paper ticket, get it validated.)

Signage indicating first or second class can be found both outside and inside each car. Oftentimes, the class is also noted on the headrests of the seats themselves.

Ticketing agents on board will not hesitate to issue an on-the-spot fine for tourists seated in the wrong class. In addition to a fine of about 100 francs, you’ll also have to pay the difference in price for the ticket.

Also, pay attention to where your seats are before entering each car so you won’t have to lug an oversized suitcase through the entire train.

Switzerland is small, but I don’t advise trying to cram everything into a short trip.


Snowy mountain views on way to St Moritz

While in Switzerland, take your time to experience the culture and stunning views.

Ashley Franzen

Switzerland is one of the smallest countries in Europe, at about 16,000 square miles. However, I’ve seen tourists mistakenly assume they can just zip through and see everything it has to offer in just three or four days.

For example, Zurich may seem close to Geneva on a map, but they are actually about three hours apart by train. Sure, you could also opt for a one-hour flight — but my point is that trying to see so many cities in a short period won’t allow you to truly get a feel for each.

Travel is about experiencing a place, not just visiting to check it off a bucket list. If you’ve only got a week in Switzerland, I suggest you limit yourself to exploring two or three cities instead of trying to cram six or seven single-night stays in new places into your itinerary.

Become at least a little familiar with the local languages and commonly used symbols.


Recycling bins in Switzerland

The Swiss take recycling seriously.

Ashley Franzen

Switzerland is composed of 26 cantons, and each of these administrative regions has its own distinct culture, government, and history. They also don’t all speak the same languages.

Although you’ll find English speakers throughout the country — especially in popular tourist areas — Switzerland actually has four official languages: German, French, Italian, and Romansh.

It’s helpful to learn a few basic greetings in those major languages and ensure you use them in the appropriate region.

Also, it’s handy to become familiar with some of the commonly used symbols — especially when it comes to trash cans.

The Swiss are conscientious recyclers, so take a beat to look up the symbols printed on the bins before tossing something in them if you are confused. Your mindfulness will be appreciated




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I moved to France 8 years ago. The first few months were filled with challenges and surprises — especially at work.

by with No Comment Xpandfy

In 2017, I quit my job as a paralegal, packed up my life in England, and bought a one-way ticket to Paris.

The new chapter was full of surprises, and though most of them were positive, I was in for some unexpected challenges in those early months — from navigating the notoriously tricky French bureaucracies (and supremely unhelpful bureaucrats operating them), to the weird and wonderful world of the Parisian soirée.

However, the strongest culture shocks came in the workplace, and even now, after eight years in France, I still find aspects of French office culture surprising.

Adjusting to French social norms was harder than expected


Woman standing in front of eiffel tower at dawn

Many traditions in France differ from what I’m accustomed to back in England.

Jodie Hughes



Getting to grips with office etiquette was my first major challenge — and the most urgent to overcome. I was starting a completely new role, in a completely new company, barely three days after arriving in France.

My title was still paralegal, but even there, my remit couldn’t have been more different. To say I had a steep learning curve ahead of me would be an almighty understatement.

I had, at least, anticipated some difficulty addressing people correctly, but that didn’t make my (frequent) blunders any less embarrassing.

In French, there are certain words for “you” and different versions of verbs depending on the level of politeness/deference needed. The rules around who you “tu” and who you “vous” feel nebulous at best — and a total minefield for a (foreign) new recruit.

Meanwhile, social norms I wasn’t expecting included greeting everyone who joins you in an elevator, and then wishing them a good day/evening when they/you leave. (People do this in medical waiting rooms here, too. I still haven’t gotten used to it.)

In England, people mostly awkwardly avoid eye contact at all costs in these situations. And if you do accidentally acknowledge someone else’s existence, at the very most, you offer them a tight (also awkward) smile.

You absolutely do not, under any circumstances, talk to them.

Mealtimes are sacred here, and I couldn’t believe the food — or bubbly — on offer in my office


Woman smiling in front of Seine river with lit up boats at night

In France, I’ve found that it’s not uncommon to pop open some bubbly at work.

Jodie Hughes



It didn’t take me long to realize just how seriously the French take enjoying the enjoyment of mealtimes.

Even my office cafeteria felt like a foodie’s dream with a rotating menu of things like duck, salmon, and paella; desserts hand-crafted by a professional pastry chef; fresh bread from the local boulangerie; and literal mounds of cheese

My lunches were so heavily subsidised by my employer that, unless I wanted a three-course meal or a glass of wine (a girl’s got to treat herself occasionally), they were almost always free.

And, yes, it’s apparently perfectly acceptable to have an alcoholic drink in the middle of the workday in France.

I also quickly learned that mealtimes, like baguettes, are sacred in this country, both for socializing and for savoring.

It’s frowned on to eat at your desk, scarfing down a sandwich while you work (I’m looking at you, England). Here, you sit down around a table, and you enjoy your food.

Accordingly, a two-hour lunch break is also customary; The French are often baffled as to what you’re supposed to do with “only” an hour.

My colleagues use their breaks to take or teach classes, exercise, or enjoy a leisurely meal in a restaurant — none of which had ever been possible with the 30 to 60 minutes I’d grown used to back home.

Remember how I said it was acceptable to have a drink with lunch?

Apparently, it’s also acceptable to have a drink before lunch, after lunch, and at essentially any time of the day, if there’s even the smallest occasion to celebrate.

I was served more champagne in my first two months in the office than I had been, cumulatively, in my entire life until that point.

One time, several bottles were opened for a colleague’s going-away breakfast at 11:30 a.m. It was tough going, but I adapted to this particular culture shock as uncomplainingly as I could …

My new vacation allowance changed my life


Woman standing next to blue water at Côte d'Azur

In France, I’ve had more paid vacation time than ever.

Jodie Hughes



Another early discovery was that work-life balance is everything in France.

The culture of competition I’d experienced in England — the peculiar bragging over who was arriving at the office earliest and leaving latest (read: burning out fastest) — was completely absent.

Leisure time feels ferociously protected here, to the extent that employees legally have the “right to disconnect” (ignore job-related calls and emails outside work hours) and the French are not shy about enforcing their rights.

Additionally, when I was informed of my vacation allowance, I was sure I must have mistranslated something: I had over five weeks of annual leave in my first year, and that’s not including the 11 public holidays.

In France, workers are generally required to take at least two consecutive weeks’ vacation. These breaks often falls between July and August, and swaths of employees disappear for an entire month.

It’s quite a contrast to the situation I’d left behind in England, where taking two weeks’ vacation in a row was considered a real extravagance. This is perhaps unsurprising, given I was never entitled to more than four weeks total annual leave.

That means everything pretty much grinds to a halt in the summer — pretty inconvenient when you’re in the middle of a project and all your colleagues are OOO until September.

But it also opened my eyes to just how life-changing that kind of balance can be, and has been one of the most incredible parts of relocating to France.

Adapting to such starkly different workplace norms from the ones I’d known in England has been a real roller-coaster ride — but there have definitely been plenty more ups than downs.

Ultimately, the experience has been as enjoyable as it has been surprising. Champagne, anyone?




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